Day One: Boredom, Time-Looping in the Past, Self-Worth and School Achievements, Sleep

(MCS = mind consciousness system)

feeling slightly bored, moments of remembering boredom of school, knowing I will go to school very soon, still looking at others for confirmation of my progress in process.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me according to past memories of my experience at school.  My experiences, all of it, have been cleverly crafted and designed by the MCS that I used to accept and trust uncondtionally to TRAP ME within it.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to trust my perceptions of whether I am walking this process or not here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to seek other people’s words to confirm my progress in process.

I forgive myself for not trusting my perceptions when I am breathing here and listening here and feeling here, and touching here, and smelling here, and tasting here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that school is ‘sinister’ and ‘evil’ and ‘counter-productive’ and ‘useless’, instead of realising that school is whatever I allow and accept it to be.  Till here NO further: I will not accept and allow myself to define school as resisting the process which I am living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that school ‘abuses’ me, instead of realising that I have been abusing myself the whole time and blaming this abuse on the school construct.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse me through participating in and as thoughts, ideas, feelings, emotions, beliefs and judgments towards others and myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to embrace me as specificity, as detail.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that I am the school construct because the school construct outside of me reflects what exists within and as me.  This applies to everything I think, feel or emote.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be every detail of my experience here.

I forgive myself for separating me from my experience of here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I am separate from my experiences.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that experiences reflect that which I have accepted and allowed myself to become, regardless of how tyrannical I may be; that is irrelevant.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting boredom to be more than me, so that I msut be subject to boredom.

I forgive myself for fearing boredom.

I forgive myself for fearing depression, which is a variation of boredom.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to participate in the mind as thoughts, ideas, judgments, imagination, feelings, emotions, beliefs.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to direct my experience here in every moment of breath.

__________
Also, in school studies I received my report card.  The comments were average, and I was aware that I used to base my perceived capabilities on the average past I had as an academic student at school.  Every moment is a new beginning so in this new beginning I will put an effort into school to get it done.  My goal would be to earn top grades in every test within the semester.  I see that there is still some resistance towards me succeeding at school, so I will push through this point by placing effort into my academic studies and get it done with.  I will transcend this point because this point does not define me as who I really am, though it may define me now.  I will prove to myself that this point does not define me by succeeding in grades at school.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me according to the academic incidents I have experienced as a programmed MCS.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting regret as part of my experience with the justification that ‘I was an average student, therefore I will be an average student indefinitely.’

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to develop productive study habits.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to distract me from HERE with entertainment: TV, torrenting, video games, blogs, Desteni material, anime.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I ‘need’ entertainment as all of the examples above: TV, torrenting, video games, blogs, Desteni material, anime.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting  the belief that I require something outside of me to stimulate me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that the only thing that ever ‘stimulates’ me is myself as who I am.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that I allowed and accepted myself to be a slave to entertainment outside of who I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I am less than entertainment.

I forgive myself for fearing entertainment.

I forgive myself for fearing here.

I forgive myself for fearing emptiness which is here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I will cease to exist once I become emptiness as here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that who I am are stimulations as thoughts emotions and feelings, instead of realising that I am emptiness: vast, constant and untouchable, unswayed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge me because I was a slave to entertainment and my average marks in the past.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I am inferior to entertainment such that I must have entertainment outside of me regularly.

__________
Having ‘jet-lag’ as the MCS I am currently, I ‘got accustomed to’ the time system in Canada.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as the MCS as thoughts emotiosn and feelings.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that wakefulness and tiredness are constructs of the MCS.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to breathe through wakefulness and tiredness to remain here i nthe Physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I am wakeful/tired, instead of realising that I am the constant awareness that perceives these two feelings.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to act according to the thoughts emotions and feelings I experience at that moment, rather than acting from self, which is silent and eternal.

I forgive myself for fearing tiredness.

I forgive myself for fearing sleep.

I forgive myself for fearing the tiredness/wakeful feeling.

I forgive myself for defining me according to my wakefulness/tiredness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the treatment of me as separate from tiredness/wakefulness, by being subject to those feelings.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be subject to wakefulness/tiredness.

I forgive myself for fearing a lack of sleep.

I forgive myself for not trusting me to ‘have enough rest’ for my physical human body in six hours.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to trust me in waking up promptly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sleepy when I wake up.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that I create for myself the feeling of wakefulness or tiredness.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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