Day Seven: Barriers to Aloneness, Doing Stupid Actions, Sexual Fantasies

(Hadn’t posted this up earlier because I wanted to finish all of the SF statements before I posted.  Working on the self-discipline point in real-time, there will be a gap in my daily writings.)

I decided to go out today to have lunch alone.  There were fears that activated: “What if they think I’m reclusive and unsociable when I have lunch alone?” “What if people see you walking alone?” That closed the deal: I was going out for lunch.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project future ideas onto the image manifestations of other people.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that what I think about other people are what those people are thinking.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting self-abuse as participation within future projections of other people criticising my conduct.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I cannot trust my breath eternally.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to apply breath and counting as easily as I apply my resonance onto me, as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me according to my future projections of what other people might be thinking.

I forgive myself for fearing my opinions and my conduct being criticised.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that if anyone criticises my opinions or conduct, they are automatically wrong and flawed.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to consider that there are people that will criticise my opinions or conduct based on their knowledge and their opinion, therefore my words and conduct are only wrong if they do not align with common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that my words and conduct are only wrong if they do not align with common sense, i.e. if my words and conduct do not align with my common sense in and as self-honesty.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that anyone that ‘criticizes’ my opinions or judgments criticises me as who I really am as the Physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am superior to other people because I am striving to live as who I really am as the Physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that other people are part of the Physical as I am, therefore all physicality, not JUST my human physical body, is the Physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting imagination as future projections to define me and limit me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting self-enslavement as the allowance and acceptance of me defining me according to my imagination.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting imagination to manifest within and as me and continue to manifest.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to release and self-forgive my imagination in real time in the moment it begins to manifest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress my imagination reactions by judging and ignoring them, instead of facing them head-on and self-forgiving myself.

I forgive myself for fearing conflict as arguments between me and another person.

I forgive myself for fearing mind consciousness systems within and as other people.

I forgive myself for fearing the possibility for having to explain my actions, my words and my conduct.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to trust me by fearing the possiblity to have to explain myself.

I forgive myself for judging myself as incapable of explaining myself within and as common sense to other people when they challenge my words and conduct.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I am unable to comment on world political events or worldwide situations, instead of realising that removing this judgment would give me the chance to develop enough common sense and self-honesty to comment on politics and poverty and lack.

I forgive myself for fearing myself to take a position I have to defend, instead of realising that every time I speak, I am taking a position on the topic I am speaking.

_________
Then when I arrived at the pseudo-fast food bakery shop, I made a mistake of lining up for my food before paying.  “Shit, they’ll think I’m a slow stupid spoiled brat” “How EMBARRASSING” “”I just embarrassed myself in front of people”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me according to what I think other people are thinking.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I must feel embarrassed when I do something that is not considered normal.

I forgive myself for not considering that the ‘normal’ standard that most people have are based on self-interest and not what is best for all.  It is not best for all to feel embarrassed because I did something unexpected and outside the normal boundary, and self-abuse me by being embarrassed.

I forgive myself for fearing rejection by other people.

I forgive myself for defining me according to other people’s acceptances of me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that the only person that rejects me is me; the only person that can accept me is me.

I forgive myself for abdicating my responsibility for feeling rejected with the justification that others reject me, therefore I am rejected.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I need/want/desire another person’s acceptance of me, instead of realising that I only wanted my own acceptance of myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the separation between me and other people, instead of realising that I am one and equal to other people.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to live within and as ALL of my surroundings including other people, thus standing up as ALL as one and equal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am ‘superior’ because I am doing more specific self-forgiveness than before.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become my stability point because that is what it means to stand as ALL as one as equal.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain as certainty within and as my human physical body.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to focus on ideas of judgment and superiority/inferiority, instead of focusing on the physicality of here, as my human physical body.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain stable within and as my human physical body.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise in that moment that my self-judgments were thoughts and therefore are not actually real.

________
Walking through the park to get to another bakery, this time to buy bread, I saw a pair of ladies about the same age as I, and I felt ashamed for looking at them.  It was because I still held onto guilt for once energetically raping girls like them in my mind, fantasizing, dreaming.  I was imposing all of my guilt from past live-memory moments onto the image manifestation of these girls who were about the same age, but I never even met them before.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting self-abuse as the guilt I identified with and imposed on the image manifestation of these two girls, and all girls of similar age.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to attach to past memories of abusing young women in my secret mind by imagining and fantasizing about them.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to let go of the guilt that keeps me from moving on from being a perverted bastard.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting anger to possess me when I remind myself of these past events of fantasizing and imagining young women.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to justify my regret and anger with the past memories of my fantasies with young women.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that attaching and abusing myself for what I did in the past keeps me from moving on from the past; abusing myself for what I did enslaves me to repeat the past patterns I despise for allowing and accepting.

I forgive myself for abusing and raping young women through imagining and fantasizing about having sexual intercourse with them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I must feel guilt and be angry to repent for once abusing young women as myself through imagination.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that women work exactly the same way men do because both are human.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that I would be able to understand women if I would shut up with my thoughts and judgments.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise women as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to impose ideas of shame on specific body parts of a female, instead of realising that the Physical, that is all tangible objects, operates in Oneness and Equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I must see a woman’s breasts or ass or legs or face with shame to repent for my past misdoings.

I forgive myself for abusing myself by feeling obligated to feel shame when I see a woman’s legs, butt, face or ass.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I want, need and desire to see a ‘nice’ face, butt, ass, legs, instead of realising that they are oen and equal, the same to every physical object in existence, and that I only insisted on imposing ideas on the physical form of certain features of a female physical human body.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel shame when I see an attractive woman, instead of realising that this shame is my self-abuse manifest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my own self-abuse, instead of realising that abusing myself will further enslave me to the very past patterns I despise within me and as me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see through all of this self-abuse as self-judgment towards myself, reflected to me by other people such as young women, and breathe through these points and self-forgive the beliefs behind my self-judgments.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress these past live-memory moments through focusing on breath to ‘remove’ these judgments and beliefs from my awareness, instead of focusing on breath to see ALL of the shit I have allowed and accepted to self-forgive them in the infinite moment between breaths.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to utilise the breath to see ALL of what I’ve accepted and allowed to live as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge all of what I’ve accepted and allowed to live as me, which prevents me from releasing it through self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel shame for what I’ve accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I must feel shame for what I’ve accepted and allowed to repent for what I’ve accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge whatever I’ve accepted and allowed to live as me

I decided to go out today to have lunch alone.  There were fears that activated: “What if they

think I’m reclusive and unsociable when I have lunch alone?” “What if people see you walking

alone?” That closed the deal: I was going out for lunch.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself ot project future ideas onto the image

manifestations of other people.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that what I think about other people are

what those people are thinking.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting self-abuse as participation within future projections of

other people criticising my conduct.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I cannot trust my breath eternally.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to apply breath and counting as easily as

I apply my resonance onto me, as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me according to my future

projections of what other people might be thinking.

I forgive myself for fearing my opinions and my conduct being criticised.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that if anyone criticises my opinions or

conduct, they are automatically wrong and flawed.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to consider that there are people that will

criticise my opinions or conduct based on their knowledge and their opinion, therefore my words

and conduct are only wrong if they do not align with common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that my words and conduct are

only wrong if they do not align with common sense, i.e. if my words and conduct do not align

with my common sense in and as self-honesty.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that anyone that ‘criticizes’ my opinions or

judgments criticises me as who I really am as the Physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am superior to other people

because I am striving to live as who I really am as the Physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that other people are part of

the Physical as I am, therefore all physicality, not JUST my human physical body, is the

Physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting imagination as future projections to define me and

limit me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting self-enslavement as the allowance and acceptance of

me defining me according to my imagination.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting imagination to manifest within and as me and

continue to manifest.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to release and self-forgive my imagination

in real time in the moment it begins to manifest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress my imagination reactions by

judging and ignoring them, instead of facing them head-on and self-forgiving myself.

I forgive myself for fearing conflict as arguments between me and another person.

I forgive myself for fearing mind consciousness systems within and as other people.

I forgive myself for fearing the possiblity for having to explain my actions, my words and my

conduct.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to trust me by fearing the possiblity to

have to explain myself.

I forgive myself for judging myself as incapable of explaining myself within and as common

sense to other people when they challenge my words and conduct.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I am unable to comment on world

political events or worldwide situations, instead of realising that removing this judgment would

give me the chance to develop enough common sense and self-honesty to comment on politics

and poverty and lack.

I forgive myself for fearing myself to take a position I have to defend, instead of realising that

every time I speak, I am taking a position on the topic I am speaking.

_________
Then when I arrived at the pseudo-fast food bakery shop, I made a mistake of lining up for my

food before paying.  “Shit, they’ll think I’m a slow stupid spoiled brat” “How EMBARASSING” “”I

just embarassed myself in front of people”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me according to what I think other

people are thinking.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I must feel embarrassed when I do

something that is not considered normal.

I forgive myself for not considering that the ‘normal’ standard that most people have are based

on self-interest and not what is best for all.  It is not best for all to feel embarrassed because I

did something unexpected and outside the normal boundary, and self-abuse me by being

embarrassed.

I forgive myself for fearing rejection by other people.

I forgive myself for defining me according to other people’s acceptances of me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that the only person that

rejects me is me; the only person that can accept me is me.

I forgive myself for abdicating my responsibility for feeling rejected with the justification that

others reject me, therefore I am rejected.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I need/want/desire another person’s

acceptance of me, instead of realising that I only wanted my own acceptance of myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the separation between me and other people,

instead of realising that I am one and equal to other people.

I forgive myself for not allowing and ccepting myself to live within and as ALL of my

surroundings including other people, thus standing up as ALL as one and equal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am ‘superior’ because I am

doing more specific self-forgiveness than before.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become my stability point because that

is what it means to stand as ALL as one as equal.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain as certainty within and as my

human physical body.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to focus on ideas of judgment and

superiority/inferiority, instead of focusing on the physicality of here, as my human physical

body.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain stable within and as my human physical body.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise in that moment that my self-judgments were thoughts and therefore are not actually real.

________
Walking through the park to get to another bakery, this time to buy bread, I saw a pair of

ladies about the same age as I, and I felt ashamed for looking at them.  It was because I still

held onto guilt for once energetically raping girls like them in my mind, fantasizing, dreaming.  I

was imposing all of my guilt from past live-memory moments onto the image manifestation of

these girls who were about the same age, but I never even met them before.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting self-abuse as the guilt I identified with and imposed on the image manifestation of these two girls, and all girls of similar age.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to attach to past memories of abusing young women in my secret mind by imagining and fantasizing about them.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to let go of the guilt that keeps me from moving on from being a perverted bastard.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting anger to possess me when I remind myself of these past events of fantasizing and imagining young women.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to justify my regret and anger with the past memories of my fantasies with young women.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that attaching and abusing myself for what I did in the past keeps me from moving on from the past; abusing myself for what I did enslaves me to repeat the past patterns I despise for allowing and accepting.

I forgive myself for abusing and raping young women through imagining and fantasizing about having sexual intercourse with them.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I must feel guilt and be angry to repent for once abusing young women as myself through imagination.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that women work exactly the same way men do because both are human.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise that I would be able to understand women if I would shut up with my thoughts and judgments.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realise women as myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to impose ideas of shame on specific body parts of a female, instead of realising that the Physical, that is all tangible objects, operates in Oneness and Equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I must see a woman’s breasts or ass or legs or face with shame to repent for my past misdoings.

I forgive myself for abusing myself by feeling obligated to feel shame when I see a woman’s legs, butt, face or ass.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I want, need and desire to see a ‘nice’ face, butt, ass, legs, instead of realising that they are oen and equal, the same to every physical object in existence, and that I only insisted on imposing ideas on the physical form of certain features of a female physical human body.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel shame when I see an attractive woman, instead of realising that this shame is my self-abuse manifest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my own self-abuse, instead of realising that abusing myself will further enslave me to the very past patterns I despise within me and as me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see through all of this self-abuse as self-judgment towards myself, reflected to me by other people such as young women, and breathe through these points and self-forgive the beliefs behind my self-judgments.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress these past live-memory moments through focusing on breath to ‘remove’ these judgments and beliefs from my awareness, instead of focusing on breath to see ALL of the shit I have allowed and accepted to self-forgive them i nthe infinite moment between breaths.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to utilise the breath to see ALL of what I’ve accepted and allowed to live as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge all of what I’ve accepted and allowed to live as me, which prevents me from releasing it thorugh self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel shame for what I’ve accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I must feel shame for what I’ve accepted and allowed to repend for what I’ve accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge whatever I’ve accepted and allowed to live as me

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
This entry was posted in Daily Writings 30 Days and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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