I once had a conversation with myself about how I would manage my life with beliefs; the results were disastrous for beliefs.
I was in the kitchen, cooking some pasta, and I was filling the pan with water. I placed the lid elsewhere, only this time I took a mental note; I felt compelled to do this after memories of ‘forgetting where I placed the lid’ arose. I wasn’t going to forget this time, I chuckled to myself. The pan is filled, and in one sweeping motion I replace the lid and turn on the stove. Then that mental note arose; what about that lid you resolved to not forget?
My head turned to the place; it was gone. Shit where the hell did I place that lid, this is terrible! I did what I decided not to do! After a moment of panic my eyes glanced at the pan again to see the lid, resting serenely on top of the pan, opposed to the self-induced chaos I placed myself in.
This is belief; it never updates itself according to actual real-time reality, it places oneself into a complete delusion, and it continually repeats itself = continually only considering a delusion = continually making the same mistake. Having tens of thousands of beliefs ingrained into virtually every person, including myself, we each live in a completely delusional world of internal wars, struggles, and competition between each other for our right to ‘be who we are’.
If I had to believe something to live, I would be living at a constantly frantic pace; my beliefs will never be able to catch-up with ever-changing reality, and the nature of beliefs will probably trip me up more than anything else.
At Desteni we continually stress ‘laying’ a foundation of self-honesty, self-corrective action, and breathing in every moment. Why? Simply because our normal way of living is quite fucked up: not only are we slowing ourselves down, we are making more mistakes AND feeling like shit along the entire journey, having to constantly catch up to some ‘speeding ghost’ of some kind of ability or knowledge that if we didn’t chase, we won’t have a salary and we’ll surely die.
Everything’s much simpler, streamlined, if we lived here, in every breath, honest to ourselves about ‘what’ we are doing, ‘what’ we are thinking, ‘what’ we are feeling in every moment, and the self-inflicted consequences according to their impacts on our physical participation, therefore on our lives. The friends we will make, the opportunities we will have, the pitfalls we will fall into, our entire demeanour will cease to be the secretly desperate, fearful people that we really are.
The need for ‘updating something’ will be completely obliterated, so there will be no more excuse to ‘speed’ or ‘rush’ in any way whatsoever; we will be free to do everything properly for once, instead of realising that ‘we will not make the deadline’ and have to lie to survive, put up a pretty picture and tell a pretty story to hide our fuck-ups.
In my experience, the freedom virtually everyone experiences is the apparent freedom to choose our delusion, such that as long as we get to choose ‘our usual’, in terms of what we usually do everyday (be it video games, sex, porn, sexuality, spending money), we believe we are free. What is dictating what we will like, and what we will dislike? Our beliefs, infused with fear and love, the ultimate extremes, the ultimate contradiction so we keep riding this ‘wave’ of highs and lows. Are we free to express ourselves when it is actually the beliefs we have picked-up, that are dictating every aspect of our lives? And most of it isn’t really beneficial for anyone involved, like an addiction to power and wealth, prestige in our world.
So do it for you: stop giving yourself a reason to rush and strain and compete, stop legitimizing the act of spiting your neighbours that seek to surpass you. No one can surpass anyone, everyone is here. We live in a fucking massive circle, yet we outline a tiny part and call that a race: we walk ahead of people, muttering to ourselves that we are now apparently ‘ahead’ of them, that we’re apparently first (!). Breathe, be honest to yourself about what you’re thinking and feeling and doing, and correct the habits that are not serving you or your friends, or your world. Realise that we don’t live in individualized sandboxes, and that we live in one huge sandbox; therefore we require being considerate to others that are playing, or else the sandbox might crack and no-one can ever play again.
Sometimes I see a slight smirk from people that hear me talk about breathing instead of ‘doing what we normally do’, which is believing. As if believing is far superior to the act of breathing. After reading this, considering the consequences we inflict on only ourselves (not really permanently affecting our world but ourselves), what is more stupid? Living a life of beliefs justified by good feelings always in lack (how else do we justify desire), or just being here with reality; the reality of ourselves, and working with ourselves one step at a time.