I was about to live out another prominent pattern that I repeated for years = ‘entertaining’ myself with anything from TV shows, video games, short videos, sensational articles, and beyond, until I realised what I was doing to myself.
I was participating in positivity, and thereby constantly and continuously creating a negative experience – to be experienced sooner or later – in my life. Again, in one breath, I realised how I was keeping myself limited within/as a mind-consciousness system, which is experienced like an endless eternal battle, where I might be tired after all of the fighting as emotional and political conflict, but still must fight for my ego and self-image.
I mean who wants to ever go there deliberately; place oneself into eternal struggle, and constantly get tired and ‘at our wit’s end’ and do it all over again, especially when one can simply remain here; and take care of what is here as the reality in front of us, that IS us as who I am here. I can get it all ‘right’ the first time, and never have to pay a price for perfection by having some discreet imperfection that does not affect the point of perfection that everyone in my world praises me for. I don’t have to ‘pay’ or ‘give up’ anything to live within/as self-honesty, and simply realise what is here, the solutions that are here to the apparent problems that are here. Karma does not have to exist; I don’t have to believe in and limit myself to karma.
The price in itself, if/when I am grounded in the Physical, is the exact reward; for accepting and allowing myself to accumulate every point that I participate in to perfection and absolute relevance/practicality = what do you think is the reward here for anyone that dare accept and allow the same? The freedom to live as one decides to live, and the freedom inherent in no longer accepting or allowing myself to harm or abuse in ANY way, shape, or form. We have, bizarrely, founded our creativity within/as how we may possibly deceive ourselves and others – there is no difference in terms of consequences – so abuse goes much beyond anything I have ever imagined possible, even for all of the horrific and strange mentalized bullshit I uncovered and let go of within/as myself.
Reality is a mirror of the true nature of ourselves, no matter how ugly we judge ourselves to be. We are fucked up beyond imagination – as proven by the state of this world: in that position, would you give yourself a real fighting chance to start over and never bullshit yourself again?
Before you join us at Desteni; investigate and experiment for yourself the consequential outflows of applying self-forgiveness; writing, speaking, and living those written statements of self-forgiveness. I found this age-old tool stupendous for lasting self-change, but what I have found out doesn’t matter. It’s what you have found out for yourself to actually work for you in a measurable, substantial way = actual progress, that matters to you; if that matters to you. If not = please ignore everything I have expressed.