Day 31: Study Habits

After studying for enough time, I stopped focusing and started being possessed by backchat.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose focus and be possessed by a neverending train of thoughts/emotions/feelings as backchat when I have studied for a period of time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that focus is something able to be lost.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that I must exert myself and experience difficulty to know that I am studying well, such that I can only exert myself for so long until I need a break.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to panic when I study and encounter no difficulty at all, such that I react in fear as the thought, “What if I am not studying well enough; I’m not feeling any difficulty while studying.”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that studying well must be difficult, and that studying badly must be easy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define studying according to an imaginary golden standard that if I do not interpret myself to be reaching, I use this to become an excuse to react in fear of myself and find every way to avoid studying and doing what needs to be done, to preoccupy my Mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when I have studied for an hour with results that I do not feel is enough, that I am wasting my time and time is running short.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that when I have studied for an hour with little results, I must be wasting my own time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that when I have studied for an hour with little results, time has sped up enormously.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself and my own abilities when I study for an hour only to see that I have done very little.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be stubborn by/through clinging onto the belief that I can do more than what I can actually do, resulting in unnecessary difficulty because I take on more than what I can handle.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delay studying well by/through clinging onto the belief that I can do more than what I have proven myself to be able to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/need/desire to cling onto the belief that I can do more than what I can do in this moment out of the excuse that if I do not do more, others will laugh at me and I want to avoid that at all cost.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear other people laughing at me because I did not do more than what I can actually do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear to dictate how I study, such that studying is no longer an action but a reaction because I study according to what actions my fear advises me to do.

When I face a reaction after studying for a period of time, I stop – I breathe. I do not accept or allow myself to walk the same consequences again because I have already proven to myself that I am the only one capable of cheating myself from doing something well. I accept and allow myself to dare to admit to myself what I can actually do, and simply do it.

I commit myself to stick to doing everything it takes to study well, instead of doing what it takes to study the way I feel like studying.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing fear to dictate what I do and instead accept and allow myself to decide for myself, according to what is most practical.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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