Day 49: I Must Be Special For Others To Support Me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that I must be special to be a worthy individual participating with other individuals in this world.

I commit myself to show that by virtue of every living being’s birth, we are all given one and equal access to the physical principles that are this entire existence, and therefore are all already equally worthy of Life. Therefore, I commit myself to realise the worth that I in fact am as a one and equal part of Life, with one and equal access to physical manifested consequence, in a self-directed decision to in honouring myself as a part of Life, learn how to respect others as a part of Life.

I commit myself to show that the belief that one must be special to be worthy of existing on this planet has been a consequence of a CULTure that has been designed over generations of people within the make believe principle of self interest because I had to believe that I had to fight for only myself within/as competition before I felt motivated to copy and paste the ways of the world to design characters according to my own apparent special purpose/ability in this Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself by/through believing that I am special, because when I believe myself to be special I must give myself special privileges to not have to do what everyone else does to assist and support themselves in their daily lives.

I commit myself to show that I can only change the outcomes of my life by/through changing the consequences I accumulate within/as my participation, and this entire process is grounded within/as reality alone. Therefore I commit myself to ground myself to face the reality of myself such that I realise and accept that I will always be in my face because I am my face as the hidden secret characters I have designed in the Mind: I ground myself by/through using the tool of daily writing, self forgiveness, and self honesty, while asserting the decision to stop the Mind by/through stopping my participation in random trains of thoughts/emotions/feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the fear of loss as fear of death to motivate a reaction of portraying myself to be special, as a defence mechanism to scare other people from daring to pull tricks and scandals against me.

I commit myself to show that by virtue of me being within/as my human physical body and directing myself as my body, I do not require to exalt myself in a self created delusion that I am special to survive or thrive. Just like the human body will not starve only when REAL food/nutrition is given daily, my position within/as the world system and within/as myself will not change until I for REAL change in the Physical, where writing, self forgiveness, and self honesty are tools to prepare for REAL immediate change in asserting the decision of who I am, instead of allowing the Mind to dictate who I am. Good intentions to feed myself will leave my human body to starve and die slowly; ambitions to be/become special will leave me as my actual living example to rot because I will be preoccupied with designing the perfect delusion/lie, instead of embracing myself in/as what is here and directing what is here to outcomes that are measurably best for all Life.

I commit myself to show that EVERY moment, including the past moments where I perceived others to have tricked me, were only ever moments where I witnessed myself tricking myself because I had to participate in the beliefs and backchat to do what the other expected me to do, and for the other to manipulate me to give them benefits. Therefore from one perspective, stopping deception and manipulation in my world is simply stopping self decpetion and self manipulation because the only way others can deceive me is through directing my backchat, while this is only possible if I allow my backchat to direct me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself within/as the fear inherent in the constant expectation of others to deceive/compromise me in some way, such that I react by/through participating in the violence implied by defending myself by/through attacking others first, such as portraying myself to be special in an attempt to intimidate others.

I commit myself to show that expectations and hopes do not accumulate into real outcomes that can be shared with all within/as living that which is best for all.

I commit myself to show the stupidity loops that I subject myself to when I participate in expectations and hopes and fears, instead of grounding myself in the actual process that define the actual outcomes that I will have to live with the rest of my life, and therefore I commit myself to show that the only real value is Life as the actual process of physical accumulation of self responsibility, because hopes and expectations as the Mind in themselves accumulate into nothing when the positive feeling of Energy subsides while reality remains as absolute and inescapable than ever, reflected in the consequences that I do not like as a hopeful and perfection-obsessed character.

I commit myself to show that who I really am as real value can only exist in the DAILY work or lack of work I give to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear of survival to accumulate into an intense enough negative experience to fuel and justify a reaction as the survival pattern of portraying myself to be special – through copying and pasting behaviours that I myself judge to be special – from the starting point of discouraging others from harming and manipulating me.

I commit myself to show that if others are motivated to harm and manipulate me, I must have manipulated and harmed myself first because through my daily living, I gave them as myself some kind of excuse to be motivated to want to actively take advantage of me.

I commit myself to show that all defence mechanisms are NOT done to defend myself from anything or anyone but myself as who I really am, because if I ever stopped defending myself through survival habits/patterns I would start to see/realise/understand who I really am as a part of Life, and what I as a part of Life has accepted and allowed to do unto all parts of Life.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that when I live out the belief that I am special to avoid others from deceiving me, I am living a statement of blame to/towards others for moments when I myself accepted and allowed others to harm and manipulate me, by/through placing myself in a position to be abused over time and consequence.

I commit myself to stand within/as self responsibility when having the experience/thoughts of being deceived by/through stopping myself from deceiving others in various socially acceptable ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imply and participate in the belief that I am a victim, apparently helpless to change how human relationships work, when I portray myself to be special with the specific purpose/self interest to avoid others choosing to deceive me in some way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that others are ‘more than’ me because they might deceive me in a way that I have never thought possible until it was proven possible when I was deceived and the other person gained at my expense apparently.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that when I am deceived, the other person gains/profits at my expense, at the cost of my way of living, when in fact me being deceived is an indication of a context where I am accepting and allowing myself to deceive and manipulate myself through systems of belief/opinion as knowledge/information, so me being deceived is NOT at my expense; me being deceived represents the consequences I am accepting and allowing through my participation in the Mind, and only the Mind because only the Mind has the ability to deceive and hide and suppress and value privacy over integrity, where integrity can be defined as not expecting anyone to take responsibility for who I am/what I am doing, yet taking on the responsibility of caring for others as I would care for myself within/as the principles of Oneness and Equality as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately abdicate self responsibility when I was deceived by/through immediately interpreting and portraying myself to be an apparent victim of being deceived, when in fact I designed how exactly I would be deceived as a one and equal consequence of my acceptances and allowances of who I am in every moment, that accumulates into a way of living reflected in habits/patterns.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
This entry was posted in 7 Year Journey To Life, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s