Day 57: “I Resent That” Character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that there actually exists a choice to deny a statement made about me through speaking within/as my Mind as thoughts/emotions/feelings, or without as words spoken to/towards other people.

I commit myself to show that denying anything that is here is in fact deliberate self deception, because denial is a form of fighting wherein I separate myself from a specially chosen part of my experience, expressed/reflected practically as words/pictures/sounds – within as thoughts/emotions/feelings and without as people/events/circumstances – , because that is the only way I can create two individual existences: one to represent my apparent individuality as opinion, and the other to play the role of that which I deny.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that whatever choice I live and apply will be valid because I chose to apply it, in spite that I have absolutely ignored the consequences that I accumulate for all involved when I live out any decision that defines who/what/how I am in myself and my world.

I commit myself to investigate the process I had walked to justify the false assumption that anything I choose to apply will be valid solely because I chose to apply it, instead of seeing/realising/understanding that what I choose to apply will inevitably affect everyone in the world, and therefore within/as free choice and the consideration of Real sustainability within/as what/how I live as my lifestyle, there is no choice because there is only one choice that will always create outcomes that are sustainable for EVERY future generation of living beings on Earth (as the future lives that could have well been me in another life) = the ‘choice’ of living/applying what is best for all. Therefore within/as committing myself to the decision to always apply/live what is best for all, I am actually proving to myself that I am considering myself as who I really am as Life, that includes all as one and equal, for each moment that I stop indulging in the temptation of wants/needs/desires of the Mind of self interest, to instead live/apply what I have recognized as what is best for all, which I recognize by/through remaining here instead of floating somewhere in the Mind/participating in thoughts/emotions/feelings. And within/as walking this process one moment of breath at a time, I accumulate substantial 1 + 1 moments of participation that are best for all, one and equal to how I fucked myself and my life through 1 moment + 1 moment of self interest when I was younger. Thus also proving to myself that I am living/applying the common sense that time only walks as quickly as one moment at a time.

I commit myself to show that the only way to live in a way that I enjoy myself in/as EVERY moment – instead of creating stupidity loops/time loops of excitement/ambition and tiredness/apathy – is to live/apply what is best for all, as ‘little’ as one moment at a time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a choice to live out a decision without first investigating what is best for all, instead relying on the assumptions made about reality by the Mind as thoughts/emotions/feelings given to me from somewhere automatically inside my head, while right here in this moment I have the opportunity to investigate the Physical as what is here direct.

I commit myself to investigate what is best for all by/through remaining here first, with no backdoors to escape/delay facing myself here.

I commit myself to realise every moment I have failed in self change as a moment where I accessed a backdoor I have designed over time, and therefore use this mistake to actually support myself to change myself when I investigate what kind of backdoor I created with the tools of writing, self forgiveness, self honesty, and self corrective action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate and abdicate responsibility for myself to investigate the consequences of my actions to the Mind of thoughts/emotions/feelings, when I participate and rely on thoughts/emotions/feelings to make a decision.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from what is here when I participate in denial by/through participating in thoughts/emotions/feelings about myself and my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to defend/protect myself from something unknown when/as I allow myself to participate within/as the Mind, denying statements made by/through logic and argument.

I Commit myself to show that deliberately applied logic and argument is totally unnecessary because why rely on logic and opinion that I have to create myself, when I can see directly what is here by/through remaining here within/as every moment of breath, by/through applying myself in every moment of breath such as counting to four for every in breath, out breath, and the pause between both. Therefore I commit myself to realise what I have forgotten such as how I had created my character to be what it is now, that affect every part of my life in every way, by/through walking my own Journey to Life blog: one point to deconstruct daily for a total of seven years of self commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there actually exists something separate from who I am here as what is here, when I accept and allow myself to deny from the starting-point/motivation of protecting and defending what I think to be myself as my ego/opinion as various points of knowledge/information that I attempt to impose on reality by/through continuously thinking about it.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realise/understand that every attempt to defend/protect myself, whether through means of denial/competition/comparison/jealousy etc., implies that I am fighting against an external force that I have separated myself from.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realise/understand that when I fight against an external force – such as when I participate in denial – I am actually fighting against parts of myself that I have projected and therefore believed to be everything but myself that is causing my experience of feeling threatened, instead of realising that my entire experience of myself can only ever be caused by what I accept and allow within/as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that I am powerless to effectively respond to what is here, when I am ‘here’ denying statements made by myself and other people, that is layered/implied within/as believing that I must fight/protect/defend myself. Therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimize myself when I participate in the Mind within/as denial as one method I have designed to protect/defend myself as a form of self righteous offense/attack/arsenal designed to kill/delete anything that threaten my way of living.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
This entry was posted in 7 Year Journey To Life, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s