Day 61: “I Can’t Control Myself” Character

I’m Out Of Control Character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speed up within/as my Mind of thoughts/emotions/feelings, from the starting point of blaming the world for forcing myself to speed up.

I commit myself to show that there is no such thing as being out of control of myself because no matter what happens, I am here in this moment within/as breath.

I commit myself to show that the feeling of being out of control, in any context, is a feeling that I deliberately generated out of self interest and therefore must be stopped one step at a time.

I commit myself to investigate the reasons for convincing myself constantly to speed/rush in my Mind of thoughts/emotions/feelings, when the actual process is walked one breath at a time.

I commit myself to stick to the simplicity of walking myself as my own acceptances and allowances FIRST, before ever daring to consider what other people might be accepting and allowing within themselves because I realise that before I have dealt with myself first, all observations I have of others cannot be verified to be in fact accurate, because as long as I am in my Mind in fact, I will only see what I want to see within/as self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that I am out of my own control to decide for myself what I will accept and allow, out of the excuse that there are ‘too many’ points yet to be faced within/as me and ‘too little’ time.

I commit myself to show that the actual point I am facing is a moment of fear because no matter what I say in my Mind, the process remains the same: walking one point at a time, within/as the context/starting point of a lifetime commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define trust according to self doubt where I would immediately ask myself the question, “Am I trustworthy?” from the starting point of self suspicion/self doubt.

I commit myself to walk WITH myself, writing and applying myself as best as I can in every moment instead of periodically panicking/fearing that applying myself in this moment is not enough to walk myself and the world system effectively.

I commit myself to walk the daily process of writing, self forgiveness, self commitment statements, and self honesty within/as the structure of one moment at a time because this is the actual process that all can only walk for themselves, therefore it is actually useless and a self created diversion to want/need/desire others to apply these tools for me, or to shortcut to a point of self realisation/self honesty for me because it is physically impossible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being out of my own control, wherein I can no longer direct me in every moment of breath.

I commit myself to show that there is NEVER an excuse to stop asserting my own decision of who I am, because any excuse I may have can only exist if self interest exists within/as myself.

I commit myself to expose the plain reality that it is impossible to be out of my own control because every MOMENT presents an opportunity to assert the decision of who I am and to do what needs to be done to live this decision.

I commit myself to show that unless I walk the necessary steps to assist and support myself in my time-based process of self honesty, no one and nothing can or will do this for me because that is what it means to stop being a slave and enslaved.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to adopt the ‘I’m out of control’ character to search and seek for people that will assist me to take self responsibility as walking through the daily necessary tasks to be done, and to live in a way that is best for all.

I commit myself to show that searching and seeking for others to help me before ensuring that I am helping myself FIRST is self sabotage and self victimization: total failure in taking self responsibility because I not only did not take self responsibility, I convinced myself to wait for others to support me before I even support myself.

I commit myself to show that any delay/waiting for myself to support myself will only ultimately harm me and make my life/process more difficult because every moment that I abdicate self responsibility is a moment where the Mind of thoughts/emotions/feelings dominate to further evolve itself to more and more intricate delusions that everything is apparently okay, in spite that I have disregarded what I have in fact accepted and allowed for everyone in this existence for myself alone to feel okay.

I commit myself to show that Nature, reflected within/as the nature of every moment of breath, are living examples here to assist and support me to walk my process of self honesty effectively by/through teaching me what it means to remain here to face myself with no escape.

I commit myself to show that I as every human being in fact are absolutely aware to exact specific detail how each is caring and disregarding each other, within/as self interest.

I commit myself to show that the only way to change myself as one human being is to admit to myself in every moment that I am in fact absolutely aware of what I am doing and living and applying, absolutely aware of what would be best for all, and therefore there is never an excuse to give up on living in a way that is best for all; to give up is to give into the Mind and the limitations I have imposed onto myself over time, and denying myself who I can really be as a part of Life that actually support Life on Earth, rather than consume out of fear of survival.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to portray myself to be out of control, as a manipulation tactic to convince others to assist me before I even assist myself.

I commit myself to STOP participating in the “I’m out of control” character because I realise that it is only a manipulation tactic that ultimately only represent how I am manipulating myself by/through separating myself from my own responsibility for my own creation as the general feeling of helplessness that complement the “I’m out of control” character, in spite that I have EVERY opportunity that is always HERE to live what is best for all and realign my living example to one in which I may remain aware of all parts of my living example without shame for what I as living example accept and allow to inflict on others.

I commit myself to realise the Real value that is represented within/as every moment of breath, by/through realising how in EVERY moment I am given the absolute opportunity to stop and change myself, where the ONLY condition is that I am willing to walk the actual process and stop complaining/manipulating/deceiving, which is a form of arguing for my own limitation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear me alone assisting myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failure if/when I am alone in assisting and supporting myself through any given moment.

I commit myself to show that any fear that arise when I am in fact alone in being a primary pillar of support for/as myself is a delusion and a distraction because fear NEVER considered everyone equally; fear only considers the worst possible outcome for myself defined separate from Life as all as one and equal.

I commit myself to show that me being the only primary pillar of self support is an indication that I am effectively walking my process because the process of self change involves self as absolute self awareness in total specificity and detail.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slow myself down because I cannot direct myself with me speeding up in my Mind of thoughts/emotions/feelings; I am only able to direct myself if I slow down and ground myself within/as each moment of breath.

I commit myself to show that time does not move faster for anyone or anything of this existence, therefore I am in fact missing what is here when/as I decide to attempt to speed up by/through participating in the Mind of thoughts/emotions/feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate a feeling of being out of control when I judge myself for my mistakes and moments of self dishonesty.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realise/understand the importance of silence within/as my process of self honesty, such that I require stopping every thought that comes up within/as me unconditionally.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
This entry was posted in 7 Year Journey To Life, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s