I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that I must strive to build myself to be strong with strong capabilities to defend and protect myself to survive.
I commit myself to show that Real toughness is within/as facing myself direct, no matter what part of myself is revealed in the moment, and to do this for me in every moment.
I commit myself to investigate all separate indications of toughness I have programmed into myself, such that I seek to embody certain specific habits/patterns/behaviours/looks to gain the experience of judging myself to be tough.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define toughness according to hoarding the most survival skills, all of which are designed to harm others as a last resort of survival of the fittest.
I commit myself to show that toughness has nothing to do with protecting/defending against others, and like every word that we use, is directly subject to who we are within/as the word.
I commit myself to show that toughness has nothing to do with the amount of survival skills or the variety of situations and circumstances I am able to direct with my survival skills.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from toughness by/through relying on survival skills to be tough enough to survive in the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define toughness according to fear of survival, where I would judge myself to be tough if I would do anything it takes to ensure my own survival, even if it involves harming others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to adopt a tough character as a means to protect myself as the pained character underneath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that I must be tough to survive in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define toughness according to the extent to which I am able to equally harm another if/when they make the first move.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my responsibility for convincing others that they may make the first move to harm me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to partake in the role of victim which obviously attracts people to abuse the victim because I as victim am actually participating in the want/need/desire to be abused to validate my self definition as a victim of abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the potential to abuse others within/as me when I fear being abused by others, such that when this fear has accumulated for long enough, I will inevitably convince myself to abuse rather than be abused, in complete ignorance that the abuser and the victim complement each other in that one cannot exist without the other.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value who makes the first move over self responsibility as the consideration of what I am living/applying to trigger such events/circumstances.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to search/seek for someone to blame when I value who made the first move.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react by/through being/becoming tough when a weak/vulnerable experience is triggered within/as me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to viciously attack others when others have triggered a weak/vulnerable experience within/as me, out of the excuse of self defence and the belief that I must be tough to survive in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the world as myself according to harshness/ruthlessness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define tough according to pictures and behaviours that I have judged to be tough.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define tough according to an imagined moment of dominance where I see myself dominate another person either actively by/through actively harming them, or passively by/through exuding/projecting a dangerous potential of harming them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that the ability to harm others is what defines how tough I am.
More on this character to come…
