I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish my own self perception of me from a living being that walks a process of learning one step at a time, to a commodity product that I exchange parts of myself and my time for a stamp of approval as a high grade, to validate to myself and others that I am a good person and am still valuable.
When and as I see myself having the opinion of myself as an apparent product to be consumed and sold to the highest bidder, I stop and breathe. I realise that in accepting this opinion, I totally disregard the actual physical practical process I had walked to be where I am now, and therefore deny myself access to the physical reality processses that are required to equally direct myself to live/apply myself to do what needs to be done. I commit myself to stand as who I am in fact, as the physical body, and direct myself to equality and oneness with the physical body as myself.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to internally portray myself to be the authority that I have feared, that treated others with bad grades ruthlessly, such that I began to treat myself ruthlessly when/as I interpreted myself to have failed, such as when I got lower marks than I had hoped for.
When and as I see myself mimicking an authority of this world within/as my backchat, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am responsible for what authority has become as a living definition inflicted onto this world. I commit myself to redefine authority to a practical definition that supports Life, by/through applying myself as authority of my own actions one moment at a time, in standing within/as responsibility of myself and my habits/patterns.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to redefine learning from a moment of expressing myself here, into a moment of anger and fear as I would imagine how absurd an authority as a minority of human beings dictate the futures of the majority of human beings through points like high/low grades, such that people with low grades are ruthlessly ignored while those with high grades are almost worshipped as a role model – and then the mind interpretation that in spite of how ridiculous it is, I can do nothing to change it.
When and as I see myself going into anger and fear because of delving into my imagination when I have decided to learn in this moment, I stop and breathe. I realise that imagination is a distraction from in fact applying and getting to know myself within/as the activity of learning. I commit myself to show that learning is simply expanding within/as myself to get to know what is already here as this physical existence, but within/as learning I equalize my physical body to this physical existence.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing my backchat impersonating authority to intrude on my process of learning, such that for every mistake I make while learning, I would immediately jump in my backchat at the opportunity to criticise and judge me in self mockery, self hatred, and self disgust.
When and as I see myself tempted to comment about every mistake that I make while learning, I stop and breathe. I realise that learning is a process of standing equal to and one with what is being presented in the material. I commit myself to, by/through standing equal to and one with myself in every moment of learning, direct myself to stand equal to and one with what is best for all.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when I do not understand a part of the material I am learning, to use this feedback as an excuse and justification to participate in backchat about fear of the future if I do not progress quicker and learn faster and understand this part quicker.
When and as I see myself backchatting about the future, I stop and breathe. I realise that whatever I think is in my future, is all just lies I repeat in my backchat until I convince myself in self dishonesty because how can I know my future when I do not even in fact know who I am; just who I want to be as knowledge/information in separation from who I am. I commit myself to stick to the basics of remaining within/as the Physical = remaining within/as the 1 + 1 accumulation of moments and what I accept and allow, directing what I accept and allow to only be what works best for all.