Day 87: In It To Win

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that I lose everything when I do not learn.

When and as I see myself believing that if I do not learn, I will lose everything, I stop and breathe.  I realise that the only reason why I would believe this is fear of survival, with this fear clearly not being part of my experience as a self-directed decision.  I commit myself to stick to the physical equations that govern this world and to make sure that learning is done because I decided to according to my responsibility as a member of this world, not my fear brainwashing and controlling me to learn.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately imagine myself into/as the future when I do not learn within/as one moment, not understanding a concept/idea in front of me.

When and as I see myself immerse myself into the future because I did not understand something, I stop and breathe.  I realise that imagining myself in a negative future only reinforces and ingrains myself further in the relationship to my Mind, in separation from reality as what will direct me to understand something.  I commit myself to show that the only real answer to understanding something while learning is to understand how I have moved myself in my Mind to not understand a concept/idea because from a position where I have limited myself from understanding something, my actual acceptances and allowances are the only real points I can apply myself within/as.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that I am a failure when I do not learn, out of the excuse/justification of a TV show once saying, “You just don’t learn, do you?”, and me reacting to that statement in the thought, “I don’t want to be that person that doesn’t learn and fucks his own life up.”

When and as I see myself judging me to be a failure for every passing moment that I do not learn, I stop and breathe.  I realise that judging myself to have failed contributes NOTHING to the physical process of learning.  I Commit myself to stop spending moments in the Mind debating about whether I am successful or not, to instead walk the process of learning by/through remaining here in the feedback I am giving myself.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect learning to winning/losing Energy, in which I see my own reflection of this in gaining/losing Money because of learning more to earn more/learning less to earn less.

When and as I see myself wanting to learn more because I want to earn more Energy/Money, I stop and breathe.  I realise that the decision to live in a way that is best for ALL cannot exist in accepting and allowing learning just to gain Energy/Money because as the current Money System and distribution of Energy/positive thinking shows clearly, nothing has been developed of real value that is in fact best for all in every way.  I Commit myself to show that the Life that has been given to me unconditionally does not become more when I learn more.  I commit myself to learn as part of self expression of Life because Life is the only real value worth supporting and dedicating my Life/Living to.

When and as I see myself fearing earning less Energy/Money because of learning less, I stop and breathe.  I realise that connecting learning to fear only creates fear to be/become my entire reality while learning.  I commit myself to stop imagining third parties such as people in positions of authority with the task of valuing my labour according to Money while learning, when CLEARLY I am only faced with myself, and the material in front of me when learning.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to conclude within myself that I must learn more at all times in the self interested reasoning of: I never WANT to earn less money/lose therefore I must always learn MORE to earn MORE and be MORE in myself and this world.

When and as I see myself interpreting my experience to be more when I have learnt more, thus expecting more from my environment from the perspective of reward/empowerment as Energy/Money, I stop and breathe.  I realise that learning more as accumulating more knowledge/information and applying that knowledge/information correctly, does NOT in any way change who I am as a living being that is part of a group where the group as the people in my world decide my worth to them, and in the greater, a living being part of the world where the world decides the monetary worth of my labour as what I have learnt; not my opinions of myself that I attempt to impose onto others in my imagination.  I commit myself to show that when I stick to the physical cause and effect as myself within/as learning, I walk the actual process of learning and do what I actually need to do to learn.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, in the self interested pursuit to learn more, participate in comparison as an apparently accurate measurement of my success, in thoughts such as: how does my knowledge/information compare to the effectiveness of their knowledge/information?  If mine works more often, I am better than them.

When and as I am learning from a starting point of comparison, I stop and breathe.  I Realise that I have divided my attention from the actual process of learning, into/as thoughts of comparison, which always lead to jealousy and competition.  I commit myself to stop participating in the thoughts that come up about my own self worth and learning.  I commit myself to stop participating in thoughts when/as learning, such that I remain here within/as the process of learning.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only care about my own success/survival made glamourous when learning, such that I would deliberately hide/suppress that when I compare myself to others, I am creating winners/successes and losers/failures in my Mind and in fact create a constant danger of losing because in no way have I considered the practicality of entertaining delusions such as the delusion of winning/losing.

When and as I am participating in this moment only for my own success, I stop and breathe.  I realise that caring only about my own success at all cost is self interest/greed, because it is always done in deliberate neglect of the part of consequences that I impart on others and this world.  I Commit myself to see/realise/understand that I can only walk my responsibility in the smaller, therefore to even attempt to think about the greater/future is useless and in fact an act of self deception.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish my own labour within/during learning into a consumer product in which I only care about the results I produce from myself.

When and as I see myself separating myself from my own labour then comparing my labour to other people’s labour to create an endless amount of opinions, I stop and breathe.  I realise that the more opinions I participate in internally, the less clear I will be able to direct myself in reality.  I commit myself to stick to the simplicity of the Equality Equation and walking the daily tasks one point at a time.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that the most important thing I must be hyperaware of – because of the fear I place myself in – is losing because I have not learnt enough to win, when from the beginning of learning I see how I have deliberately tossed myself aside and only care about a good feeling; I already lost myself the moment I learnt in self interest/greed because in the obsession for Energy/positive experience, I deliberately separated myself from the Physical = the physical process/labour I actually walk through to manifest the respective results, reflecting the greater as the physical principles/processes that make Life on Earth possible.

When and as I see myself learning purely for a good experience/positive feeling/reward/benefit, I stop and breathe. I realise that what matters is my physical movement within/as the process of learning, and expecting a positive experience in my Mind interferes with this.  I commit myself to show that clarity of self movement can only exist within/as the Physical, that can only be walked one point at a time.  I commit myself to remain within/as my decision to physically walk the process of learning one step at a time, independent of feeling.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that the most important value of learning is winning/losing, with emphasis on winning, when in reality, winning/losing is an opinion formed by ourselves, which has been manipulated by consumerism to control what we value in the interest of a few.

When and as I see myself connecting my self worth to the task at hand through thoughts/emotions/feelings expressed as opinion, I stop and breathe.  I Realise that opinion is knowledge and knowledge is useless.  I realise that in the physical process of learning, I am ONLY faced with myself, and the material in front of me; anything else is of the Mind as useless thoughts/emotions/feelings.  I commit myself to walk the task of learning for what it is, instead of attempting to search/seek for value in which to attach to myself in separation.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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