I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define learning according to getting higher marks COMPARED to everyone else, in this participating in the need/want/desire to be/become more/superior in an underlying fear of being less/inferior. I realise that when I compare myself to others, I deliberately ignore the effort as breath by breath accumulation that I walked in fact, and also ignore the efforts of others, for a positive experience in my Mind alone. I Commit myself to investigate and expose the cause as myself as hidden memories and backchat that led me to resort to competition against others, which only ever results in competition against myself in wanting/needing/desiring to do better than I have before, to compete with others.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify competing against others by/through learning the most by obsessing over the thought, “If I do not learn this well enough my privileges will be immediately stripped from my life.” I realise that participating in thoughts about survival does not contribute in any way to me actually assisting and supporting myself as Life. I Commit myself to investigate the hidden insecurities I have created within myself to justify the clear obsession with wanting/needing/desiring to learn the most to be/become the ‘most’.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be/become obsessed with learning the most, in spite that the physical practical requirements is to learn until I pass. I realise that the Equality Equation of one breath at a time dictates that learning must be walked step-by-step, in that I cannot skip/ignore the process of getting lower grades to automatically jump to getting higher grades. I Commit myself to show that getting high grades is a process of perfecting each small point in successfully applying one point of knowledge/information, one point at a time and that there is no other way but to walk this step-by-step; one and equal to the process of changing my daily living to habits/patterns that are best for all = each habit/pattern must be established and proven consistent one breath at a time over a period of at least 21 days without fail, where it is always best for all to do this once and to do it properly.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify wanting/needing/desiring to learn the most with the memory of myself constantly feeling less when I would attain a mark less than what I had before in my last test, which fueled the motivation to receive higher marks to feel like a worthy and valued individual again. I realise that I will never assist and support, to then direct, myself in my world in fact when I do not remain here to face myself as the negative experience instead of hiding/suppressing it in ‘strength’ and ‘power’ as being able to accumulate more positive energy experience for myself alone. I Commit myself to show that to walk the actual physical process to establish any habit/pattern will only be possible when I face every excuse I have made up in my Mind for not being able to establish the habit/pattern.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach learning more to being/becoming more to feel like a worthy and valued individual in the eyes of others and society, reflecting the hidden expectations of myself that I have used to punish myself within/as self judgment and self spite when I do not fulfill my desires in the guise of high expectations of myself. I realise that expectations of myself with the primary expectation of instant manifestation of my expectations is a self created trap to always judge myself because in no way has the reality of walking the process been considered. I Commit myself to drop all expectations when walking the physical processes to learn or to live/apply myself, as the foundation of all habits/patterns I establish. I Commit myself to show that no one can live and apply self honesty when expectations still exist within/as oneself.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my own self worth according to the Energy experience I generate within myself when I see others applauding me for my efforts. I realise that my self worth is the worth I give to all parts of Life by/through living what is best for all in first facing myself in self honesty. I Commit myself to stop defining my self worth according to Energy.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach a feeling of ownership and possession to the privileges I gain access to when I learn enough, such as the increased chances of finding a job and taking on roles that I would like to take on and fuel more characters in my Mind through the validation and approval of others when/as I learn well. I realise that laying claim to any part of myself that produces results is greed. I Commit myself to investigate the characters I have developed to justify the obsession with owning and possessing parts of myself in fear of losing.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/need/desire to gain access as approval from my environment to fuel more characters in my Mind, as is allowed when I accumulate the marks of success such as high marks and the ability to learn effectively and quickly. I realise that I do not support Life in any way when abusing cause and effect to manipulate to my personal advantage alone at the cost of physicality. I Commit myself to show that the only value worthy of support is the value that will support all Life equally, as the daily task of aligning my actions in ways to practically face myself and what I accepted and allowed to stop my participation in the continuation of abuse on Earth.