Day 94: Doing Wrong

Thought Dimension

“What if I just become less than who I was previously  for doing X because what if people curse at me for doing what I did?”

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on my self generated emotional experiences of other people’s words about me in my Mind as an apparent indication of how wrong/right my actions were.  I Realise that these emotional experiences are based on memories have activated about similar situations and the character I designed to cope with similar circumstances, while not considering the actual reality of my actions that I would have seen as obvious if I would stop obsessing in my thoughts/emotions/feelings.  I Commit myself to establish breath – instead of emotional experiences – as a guide to see/realise/understand what I must do to produce an outcome that is best for all, which I see/realise/understand will only happen after I have proven to myself that my decisions, directly reflected in my actions and/or lack of actions, are not affected by emotional experiences.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want/need/desire to rush to an immediate alternative action to appease my own fear of other people reacting negatively to my actions.  I Realise that until I have established a stability within myself where I am not swayed by fear, I Will not be given access to self corrective action that produce actual self change because I am still accepting and allowing myself to ignore myself, to operate in self interest as fear/desires.  I Commit myself to show that until I stand equal and one to my own actions, I am not directing myself and am directing a ‘personally adjusted’ version of myself that exists only as an idea in my Mind to align with my ‘hidden’ desires/fears; directing an illusion to feel good about myself all of which will amount/accumulate to nothing because the illusion is nothing.

I Forgive myself for acccepting and allowing the belief that the sooner I correct myself, the less ‘damage’ I will wreak on my projected image to/towards others, from the perspective that they will talk ‘less’ about me so I may feel better about myself.  I Realise that I render myself incapable of correcting myself because in this belief, I am still participating in wants/needs/desires about the future, in which this self interest as myself will do anything – alter, distort, and lie – about all of the evidence here to fulfill the want/need/desire.  I Commit myself to stop rushing and to instead slow down to stop fueling wants/needs/desires to instead face myself.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that who I am is what I do, and that according to who I am, other people will judge me as I will judge myself to be either worthy or worthless.   I Realise that any progress I have made up to this point did not start with what I did, but who I am within what I did.  I Commit myself to apply myself here in every moment of breath to see/realise/understand who I am as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become within/as my starting point in every moment of breath.

“I’m afraid of becoming/being treated as less than a human being – like how people treat me when I do something that is wrong in their opinion.”

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to treat myself as ‘less than’ human when I react to other people reacting to my actions in spite/blame/judgment as if something is wrong with my actions.  I Realise that treating myself as ‘less than human’ is an excuse/justification to hide/suppress my own common sense while believing that I apparently have no control over my own decisions because I have deliberately given away my power to decide to the idea that others have forced a decision onto me to conclude that I am ‘not human’.  I Commit myself to regain the power I had abdicated by/through taking back self responsibility by firstly stopping my participation in fear, then from a point of silence I reassess myself and my world and identify the obvious self corrective action that will contribute to living what is best for all.

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value my own opinions more than the reality of what I accepted and allowed as a reality of consequence, and then attempt to hide/suppress consequence by/through blaming other people and their opinions for a decision that I alone made in the self interested desires to be right and know more to do more and be worth more in my own eyes/Mind alone.  I Realise that the opinion I have of myself, regardless of positive/negative, will always remain a delusion as it has proven itself to be from the beginning when I had to separate myself from the awareness of what is here and my impact – however seemingly small – to what is here, to build countless layers of ideas about myself then distorted further to present an acceptable image of ‘myself’ to others.  I Commit myself to discover who I really am by/through first stopping following all previous ideas about myself and others.

“I am systematically forced to leave my very life to people so their opinions become special.  If I don’t conform to their opinions of good, I will not survive.”

I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the prospect/future thoughts about gaining money through other people – their relationships, skills, services – to define my decisions.  I Realise that deliberately altering my decisions for other people is an indication of greed and deliberate ignorance of reality.  I Commit myself to show that the evidence that a decision was made by me in fact is the awareness that I stopped all fears within me and made the decision.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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