I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that after doing the same thing for long enough, I must feel exasperated and haggard. I realise that although I may do the same thing over a substantial period of time, all was and is being walked in PHYSICAL reality, where AT ALL TIMES, there is only one point to remain aware of/as Self as all as equal and one in the Physical. I commit myself to the simplicity that all big projects have been completed through walking one step at a time, with the breath as the real time keeper that measures in every breath whether I am here facing myself in self honesty, to do what is best for all or not.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being left behind when I do the same thing long enough to believe that I am doing it ‘over and over and over again’. I realise that no matter WHAT I do, all of it is experienced PHYSICALLY as just the ONE point I am living/applying, and in no way does the one point carry over to the next moment to specifically justify a burdening feeling, let alone a section of past points ‘concentrated’ onto this one moment to be apparently experienced as a burden. I commit myself to investigate why I have valued being first/leaving others behind over being last/being left behind.
I Forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine myself to be in a line of people, where I must run, shove, and manoeuvre myself to as front as possible, to avoid the fate of being last. I realise that in this I am separating myself into wants/haves and fears/not-haves and using the imagined picture scene as an excuse/justification to continue specifying what I want and do not want from others for myself alone, in this exposing/revealing that I only care about myself, therefore I have not made the decision to do what is best for all. I Commit myself to show that the only way to even begin to be aware of others is to stop defining and participating in what I want and do not want because as soon as I divide myself into such parts: I inevitably resort to harm and deliberate ignorance of myself as others.
More to come