Day 105: Studying is Not So Difficult

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define studying according to a memory where I reacted in anger to my mother for not being able to explain why I was studying continuously. When/as I see myself participating in an activity that triggers an anger/annoyance reaction, I stop and I breathe. I realise that basing my participation on a memory is an example of participating in delusions. I commit myself to stop anger/annoyance – any emotions/feelings – from influencing my decision to support myself and all in the Physical, to instead do what needs to be done because it is the best for all in the Physical; not what I think about the action according to emotions/feelings that I clearly did not create, or else I would see my decision and exactly how I created/designed the emotion/feeling to appear in my head alone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define studying according to keeping external authorities ‘in control’ from defining me to be undesirable. When/as I see myself studying from the starting point/motivation of controlling authority, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am in fact unable to control authorities in any way whatsoever because to have control over others separate from myself is to be able to brainwash others for personal gain. I commit myself to study because it is what I need to do to direct myself in my world to a daily participation and beingness that provide stability in my relationships and money, which currently hold an unacceptable power over a person’s life at the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from who I am when studying such that I experience myself as apparently studying, and even more capable within/as thinking of others and everything else but studying, but when the studying is difficult, treat the difficulty as something apparently complex and unsolvable; requiring anything but myself. When/as I see myself believing that I am apparently capable of multitasking literally, I stop and breathe. I realise that I sabotage myself when I underestimate what is physically required to study effectively. I commit myself to dedicate my attention on the ONE task, who I am when completing the task because this is the only way to practice a point for real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define studying according to the statement, “I’m doing this to get this done and over with.”, in spite that I inevitably dissuade myself from studying with this statement lived into reality. When/as I see myself doing something to ‘get it done and over with’, I stop and breathe. I realise that in a moment where I accepted and allowed myself to fuel a personality with the statement, “I’ll just get this done and over with”, I could have done the straightforward obvious point of supporting myself by/through for example, measuring my progress and correcting myself more often.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ask the question, “Why am I studying so much?”, from the starting point of personal gain. When/as I see myself asking questions from the starting point of self interest, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am designing and creating my own answer, which will always be a delusion, when asking questions in self interest because self interest implies the tacit permission to omit and add to my opinion of what is here. I commit myself to ask questions that are relevant to what I can do to live what is best for all, implying that I will always challenge my own self interest rather than participate in it.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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