Day 106: Being Accepted

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take my mother yelling at me personally and conclude that I am what is making her so angry. When/as I see another person being angry and yelling at me, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am participating in a moment of fear, existing in/as myself alone, when/as I reactively blame myself for being the cause of the person’s anger, and therefore distract myself from directing myself to a solution in getting lost in fear/blaming myself for what is here. I commit myself to stop blaming myself to instead investigate why and how I am fearing the moment when someone is angry in my immediate surroundings, and making a decision to apply the change immediately.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to punish myself before my mother came to punish me when I was not doing something to her standard, by/through treating myself as inferior to the world and backchatting against myself in my Mind. When/as I see myself diminishing myself through backchat and sarcastic statements made towards myself, I stop and breathe. I realise that I do NOT align and change my actions by constantly badmouthing myself in my thoughts until I ‘reached’ a negative emotion/feeling about myself. I commit myself to stop diminishing myself in my thoughts, to instead use that moment to simply stop living the mistake and applying the necessary corrective action to accumulate to outcomes that must be created to continue my process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my mother punishing me so much that I began to punish myself before my mother had the chance to create a similar negative experience within me, as an attempt to control my experience of myself. When/as I see myself punishing myself in my backchat to ‘ease the shock’ of other people punishing me, I stop and breathe. I realise that I give up on myself when I decide to punish myself in my thoughts, and in this I realise that I hide/suppress the relationships I have created to/towards points such as other people being angry at me and not knowing the reason why, creating the fear when I am faced with other people reprimanding me, and adding another layer that I must face as myself when I decide to give up on myself in punishing myself in my thoughts. I commit myself to stop punishing myself in my thoughts to stop adding an additional layer that prevent me from facing the consequences that I have created for myself, and instead just directly face what I have done and stop and correct it – no backchat necessary or required, no self spite necessary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in frustration in a past moment when I did something, made my mother extremely angry, and how I did not understand why my mother was so angry. When/as I see myself being frustrated when forced into a negative situation and not knowing exactly why, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am the one creating the feeling of frustration to/towards the point that I do not understand why, while creating resistance to/towards being in a negative situation/experience without understanding why. I commit myself to instead of participating in frustration, face the fear I have created in relationship to being in a negative situation in my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist facing myself as manifested consequence when I am physically in an environment that trigger a negative experience within me, out of the excuse/justification that I do not know why. When/as I see myself wanting/needing/desiring to run away or separate myself from the negative experience through positive thinking, or isolating myself from that environment, I stop and breathe. I realise that when I am faced with a negative environment, I am in fact facing myself as how I am creating the negative experience within myself, that I have projected onto my environment. I commit myself to stop reacting to physically being in a negative environment because I become less than equal to the negative experience I am creating within myself and existing within myself alone, and therefore become unable to direct myself. I commit myself to instead of reacting to the negative environment and inevitably compromising myself within the reaction, direct myself in the negative environment by/through stopping my reactions to/towards the negative environment, and commiting myself to practical responsibilities that I can do for myself.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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4 Responses to Day 106: Being Accepted

  1. christineah says:

    Hi Kasper – I was writing my sf just like you, when my buddy suggested I use – “I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed’ – this way we are no longer accepting and allowing it in the present tense.

  2. Pingback: Day 107: Desire To Be Accepted | Kasper's Journey To Life

  3. Pingback: Day 113: Disappointed At Myself Means Disappointed At My World | Kasper's Journey To Life

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