Day 111: But The World Isn’t Accepting Me!

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to interpret my own weaknesses as opportunities to criticize and slander myself to justify my own opinion that I am not a human being worthy of being confident in who I am. When/as I see myself reacting to my own weaknesses in self judgment and thoughts about the weakness, I stop and breathe. I realise that I accepted and allowed the point to remain weak, and therefore I simply require walking a process of daily self commitment to develop the point to effectiveness and practicality. I commit myself to accept the effects or lack of effects I have already accumulated as weak points, to instead utilise my attention in walking each moment to perfection as what I can do for myself in each moment; I commit myself to not indulge, compare, or judge myself according to mental ideals I have placed in my head and projected onto people/events/circumstances.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the belief that the most intelligent people produce the most results with the least work, and in this tried to apply this to myself where I expected myself to produce more results with less work in the hope of being seen as intelligent and within this worthy of people’s acceptance. When/as I see myself judging myself for apparently not producing enough results for the work I am putting into a task or project, I stop and breathe. I realise that up to this point, I have been somewhere up there in my head hoping to produce results without doing any real work, so if I find my actual work and the results produced as underwhelming, I realise that this is an indication that I am still attached to making my fantasies of being an intelligent person come true, as being/becoming that person that apparently does not work yet produces amazing results. I commit myself to assist and support the reality of myself as the actual results I produce from my work in reality by/through not judging myself and instead making the most of daily practice and letting go of all reactions to/towards the results I produce.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself exclusively in the weaknesses that I possess, such that at all times I only ‘see’ lack and imperfections in myself and my world. When/as I see myself only seeing myself in terms of what faults I have, I stop and breathe. I realise that who I am is not within my faults, and definitely not the opinions I have about my faults. I realise that I am chaining/limiting myself to my own faults when I only see myself for my own faults. I commit myself to stop judging what I see as the consequences I accepted and allowed, to instead focus on directing myself to practical immediate actions that accumulate to what is best for all, while letting go of all judgments through self forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself such that I only value the parts of myself that generate a positive reaction in others, in this abusing parts of myself to hide and suppress myself as that which generate negative reactions in others. When/as I see myself pursuing positive parts of myself to escape the negative parts of me, to possess positive personality traits to apparently become more, I stop and breathe. I realise that who I am is BOTH the positive and the negative points I perceive within/as me because I am participating in a polarity of positive and negative. I commit myself to stop pursuing that which I believe/interpret to be superior and in this I commit myself to investigate the process I had walked to accept the conclusion that what I am pursuing is superior to who I am here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compete with myself in a race against myself in chasing after that which I perceive to be superior to who I am, such as pursuing knowledge/information and the rate of integrating knowledge/information. When/as I see myself chasing after points such as learning from the starting point of holding it to make it mine and become more, I stop and breathe. I realise that competing against myself in my thoughts is an indication that I have inferiorized myself such that I feel driven to do something to validate my existence, when I already exist here. I commit myself to stop driving myself with fear to instead support myself in facing myself with self forgiveness and self honesty one breath at a time.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am only progressing when I am struggling, specifically in myself as my thoughts/emotions/feelings. When/as I see myself looking for something in myself to struggle with, I stop and breathe. I realise that struggling does not affect daily physical accumulation, and to struggle deliberately is self interest. I commit myself to stop creating my participation and process of self change more difficult than necessary. I commit myself to stop deliberately seeking out a struggle, both inner and outer struggle.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to separate and judge and push away who I am through the pursuit of happiness to such an extent that I placed myself into a zombie state, in being/becoming apathetic out of the excuse of the intensity of fear that I have attached to remaining here with myself. When/as I see myself going into a zombie state of apathy and fear, I stop and breathe. I realise that I created the apathy and fear by/through separating myself from my own fear within/as the pursuit of happiness, as all of the activities I participated in to pursue happiness, and using the fear to justify being/becoming apathetic in a zombie-like state. I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing apathy from dictating what I live in a moment of breath because I am not directing myself to apply self honesty when I allow apathy to dominate. I Commit myself to stop all individualized pursuits of happiness to instead remain here in self contentment where I allow myself to be content with my decision by/through consistently applying my decision to investigate all things and keep that which is best for all.

I Forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to force myself to accept everything that people would say, especially when I am in a reaction of fear. When/as I see myself reacting in fear to someone’s words, I stop and breathe. I realise that fear is a lie and I have to first stop lying/fearing myself if I am to do anything that is best for everyone, including the person that triggered the reaction in fear. I commit myself to stop participating in the fear immediately by/through participating and focusing on my breathing and trusting my breath alone: any words that come up within me are not to be trusted because I don’t even know where they came from, how I practically and actually create these words spoken within me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exchange accepting myself to accepting what ‘the world’ is apparently imposing on me, when in fact I am the only one that can practically affect every single one of my actions in every moment. When/as I see myself having backchat about my relationship with the world and the world’s relationship with me, I stop and breathe. I realise that I cannot trust a single word I speak internally about myself or my world because I have not investigated the relationship with myself yet, in a practical and measurable way such as writing and applying self forgiveness and self corrective application – responsibility, directive principle, and self application – let alone the entire world, so how can I know anything about the world that is real when I am accepting and allowing internal creations like thoughts/emotions/feelings to dictate every moment’s participation as who I am? I commit myself to investigate every moment’s participation as who I am through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application one point at a time because if I do not place my words in a physical, measurable way, I cannot trust any conclusions I have made about myself or my world. I commit myself to use the tool of writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application as a way to cross reference my knowledge/information about myself and my world so that the only point that ever remains is that which is practically what is best for all, in this I commit myself to a daily process of investigating all things and applying that which is best for all, one point at a time.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the belief that if I do not know enough about being/becoming successful/wealthy/happy/smart/quick, etc. in this world, I am not allowed to accept myself in any way and must follow what I perceive others to be doing their best to impose onto me. When/as I see myself not accepting myself out of the excuse that I lack the knowledge/information about the world to be successful myself and therefore have permission from my world to accept myself, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am abdicating my responsibility for myself to/towards my world, when I participate in this belief. I realise that after participating in this belief for some time, I have NOT directed myself to a PRACTICAL solution in ANY way, therefore indicating that this knowledge/information is useless and should not exist any more, from the perspective of stopping this belief from affecting my participation and self direction in each moment. I commit myself to give myself practical self direction by/through investigating all beliefs I have held about myself and my world, and only keeping that which directly produce daily living that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that knowledge/information in itself will determine who I am in my world and the life I lead. When/as I see myself relying on knowledge/information in separation of myself here to live practically, I stop and breathe. I realise that knowledge/information in itself will not produce anything of value because knowledge/information without me applying it is useless. I Commit myself to prove to myself that I play an irreplaceable role in myself and my life in that without my directive principle – that is clearly independent of what knowledge/information I possess – no knowledge/information will produce a world that is best for all because the most important factor in my life as myself is not living and applying it as myself, in the actual practical units of living: breath.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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One Response to Day 111: But The World Isn’t Accepting Me!

  1. Pingback: Day 113: Disappointed At Myself Means Disappointed At My World | Kasper's Journey To Life

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