Is it really such a good thing to have free choice when harm and stupidity is justified with free choice? This is part of investigating the relationships I have formed with free choice as specifically as I am able to at the moment.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abuse free choice to justify my own personal comforts such as reverting back to old habits/patterns that I already know do not support anyone involved. When/as I see myself tempted to abuse my free choice to go back to old habits/patterns as personal comforts, I stop and breathe. I realise that regardless of my preferences, I am here in a world where I am accountable for everything that I do to others, meaning even one single exception has a corresponding consequence that adds up, within this I realise the stupidity of choosing to accumulate debt when I can choose to support myself in my world. I commit myself to stop blindly trusting and basing my decisions on what is comfortable, to investigate what I have programmed as my own personal comforts.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to cite free choice as a personal protection and defence mechanism when I know that to support myself more specifically, I must change specific habits/patterns of behaviour. When/as I see myself using free choice as an excuse to not change myself immediately – from the perspective that practical change means immediately discarding comfort/feelings for practical, measurable assistance and support – I stop and breathe. I realise that I am sabotaging my own commitments to myself to support myself, when I allow even one exception to fall back to past comforts because the actual practical change process is in abruptly discarding the past as comforts to instead apply the change: if I do not change in this moment here immediately, I cannot trust that I will change in any moment in the future, however close the ‘future moment of when I will change’ is framed in my thoughts/emotions/feelings. I commit myself to discard the preprogrammed, automatic force of being attracted to comforts, to instead see/realise/understand that this moment HERE is THE moment to change, or else ALL of my decisions to direct myself are no longer real or certain.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the free choice to not be ready to face what is here. When/as I see myself believing myself to not be ready to face a point in my world and reality, I stop and breathe. I realise that if I allow myself to have free choice to not be ready, I give myself the ultimate excuse to not change myself because I imply the belief that there is a ‘God’ that is stopping me from being ready, but obviously my world will not accept an excuse that is based on my personal belief alone. I commit myself to stop my allowance of free choice to not be ready, to instead respect the fact that I con myself into a delusion of helplessness/powerlessness when I have this choice, so having a choice to not be ready is abuse of myself and my world.