Day 121: Me First!!!!

Driving myself to be first is one of the most tiring points where I take from myself the opportunity to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself to be first in as many categories as possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth and self image according to how many categories I rank first in.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that I tire myself out from driving myself to be first.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise the change I am imposing violently on my human physical body daily, every single day that I drive myself to compete to be first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that if I am anything less than the minority of being first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that being first is the most intelligent thing to do, in spite that I exclude the majority of ‘everyone else’ as what I can do to support their living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that when I become first, everything will be given to me because I am first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that when I become first, I will have peace and harmony as certainty in my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that being violent to become first does not produce a world of peace and harmony, therefore my life will not be peaceful or certain in a way that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that being normal means justifying being violent and negligent towards others with the want/need/desire to attain more money and more power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that skills that are valued highly in terms of salary represent power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that since I have little skills to trade in for money, that I apparently have very little power to do anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself to a part of myself as the consequences of not developing certain specific skills.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for not developing skills that equate to money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure my self worth according to an emotion/feeling I receive when I compare myself to a vague scale of worth based on my opinions alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I become less when I openly investigate the mechanics of my own Mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convince myself to discourage me from openly asking questions about my own Mind because of an emotion/feeling that I have in reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not openly discussing my OWN MIND with the excuse/justification that “others” will disown me and reject me from being part of their relationships.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to silence myself as my blog out of the excuse that I will be casted out immediately if I continue writing about my own Mind with solutions that I test and develop until I have stopped my Mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop writing my blog in the hope of not being casted out of relationships, anything but facing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my beliefs about what will cast me out by/through stopping writing my blog, for various reasons that do not exist when I have made a decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my own self acceptance according to the uncertainty of “business” – the idea of business – accepting/employing me to work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my activities according to being hired by a company, instead of being here to do what needs to be done to support my self expression within/as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my relationship with a business according to fear of loss: fear of losing my job, fear of earning less than what my skills are actually worth, fear of being taken advantage of, fear of being promoted slower than others, etc.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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5 Responses to Day 121: Me First!!!!

  1. Pingback: Day 122: Winners Are Simply Willing to Do What Losers Don’t | Kasper's Journey To Life

  2. Pingback: Day 123: Drive To Success | Kasper's Journey To Life

  3. Pingback: Day 125: Effects of Competition On Health | Kasper's Journey To Life

  4. Pingback: Day 126: Sneaky Movement During Competition | Kasper's Journey To Life

  5. Pingback: Day 127: Self Esteem Within Competition | Kasper's Journey To Life

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