Please read Day 121: Me First!!!! for context
Self Commitment Statements
When/as I see myself driving myself to get first place, be one of the ‘first ones’, I stop and breathe. I realise that the physical process of “getting first” as improving the quality of my work, involves my relationship towards myself alone and therefore coveting what others have is greed where I in fact ignore facing myself for obsessing about what others have. I commit myself to face my relationship towards myself within/as work in general, instead of avoiding myself within/as obsessing about what others have, how I may copy others to get what they have faster for myself apparently. I commit myself to improve the quality of myself as a product according to means and methods that, if seen/revealed/exposed, they are methods that everyone can apply without shame.
When/as I see myself judging myself because of how I rank up to others or how others rank me, I stop and breathe. I realise that I cannot be ranked until I decide to place myself on an imaginary scale, therefore when I rank myself = I am the perpetrator of my unpleasant experience; when others rank me = I am the perpetrator of my experience. I commit myself to slow down and breathe to stop participating/fuelling the unpleasant experience. I commit myself to write out the actual boundaries of responsibility between my actions and other people’s actions to specifically prevent me from creating consequences from mixing my opinions with what is here and acting on my opinions with no understanding of my position in my world, such as what others will have to do according to my actions.
When/as I see myself tiring out from driving myself “forward” through self imposed pressure, haste, rushing, stress, and impatience, I stop and breathe. I realise that I become LESS specific and directive when I drive myself with emotions/feelings, so I realise that my good intentions become fake if i continue to drive myself through stress, haste, impatience, etc. I commit myself to stop kicking my own shin rushing, in exchange for the consistency and stability of my participation when I remain here in my human physical body.
When/as I see myself literally exhausting myself out mentally and physically from rushing to be first, I stop and breathe. I realise that I will continue to exhaust myself even further if I continue to rush, no matter what. I commit myself to stop rushing to be first, to instead invest the moment to create a more intimate relationship with myself.