Day 125: Effects of Competition On Health

This is part of a series of blog posts:

“I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise the change I am imposing violently on my human physical body daily, every single day that I drive myself to compete to be first.” – Day 121: Me First!!!!

“When/as I see myself literally exhausting myself out mentally and physically from rushing to be first, I stop and breathe. I realise that I will continue to exhaust myself even further if I continue to rush, no matter what. I commit myself to stop rushing to be first, to instead invest the moment to create a more intimate relationship with myself.” – Day 122: Winners Are Simply Willing to Do What Losers Don’t

Being more specific to explore how exactly I am being violent towards my human physical body when competing in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is worth it to consume my human physical body’s health as an apparently necessary sacrifice to possess the most profitable personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that the more I sacrifice of myself, the more profitable personality I can possibly create to make more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that sacrifice is what defines a person who is first: a person willing to make sacrifices.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that my personality is what keeps me alive, keeping me stable in my network of relationships apparently, and the work ethic to be first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that the one point that I need to become first is a “great personality” to convince others to support me to be/become first.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convert my own beingness into a product from the starting point of the greed of being first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the processes that I walked diligently daily to create myself, to instead chase after the ‘perfect personality’ in a self created competition against others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convert my participation into a weapon that I use carelessly to basically direct myself into a state where in my Mind, I am constantly looking for ways to get ahead of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to a tool that I can apparently use to breaking point and then find another ‘me’ to replace myself with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I am a tool to myself that I can use and allow to wear out, or even break, with no consequences to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value myself based on the skills and productivity I am able to produce for myself out of the habit of judging products based on their numbers and performance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the numbers I am able to produce for myself and my world, such that I believed that I deserved to be discarded when my numbers did not reach the top.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider that no matter how many signs of achievement I produce – names, titles, awards – I die when I take my last breath, the last one of many that I took for granted when obsessing over high achievement.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that I defined Life to be apparently worthless when/as deciding to basically sell out my health for achievement.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise how many cells in my body are working as one to maintain my health, and within this how stupid it is to decide not to cooperate with my human physical body, to chase after a mental obsession of achievement and progress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the world is progressing faster and faster, and if I do not keep up, I will be left behind and left to starve to death when my labour is no longer valuable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that the only way to keep up with the world is to sacrifice more and more of myself, such as my health, betraying others, lying, then lying to myself about these points because if I was aware, I would not accept myself.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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2 Responses to Day 125: Effects of Competition On Health

  1. Pingback: Day 126: Sneaky Movement During Competition | Kasper's Journey To Life

  2. Pingback: Day 127: Self Esteem Within Competition | Kasper's Journey To Life

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