Day 129: You Don’t Work Hard

This is a continuation from

“However, I made a decision that I suppressed: a moment while waiting in line to receive my test mark, suddenly having the thought, “Man I’m putting a lot of time into doing this one test, only to repeat this for an innumerable number of weeks.” I jumped to the conclusion, “I need more rest, I won’t place so much time in this.” ”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when I saw that I was applying myself in my studying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear applying myself to study for an entire day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump to the conclusion that since I required to study longer and more intensely to walk at an equal pace, I was losing time that I had no choice but to place into my studies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because by practical implication, I required to place more time in studying, that I was not consulted at all about my decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that because I was not asked at all yet forced to do very specific tasks, that I am not a human being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the fact that my environment determines what I can and can’t do, as an equal consideration to what I decide within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that my entire world sees me as a worthless human being, because in the Physical, I was not even asked or spoken to at all about such practical implications of going to school: I was just placed and given a ‘choice’ as to study and keep up or basically die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my relationship to work according to anger, because of the moment when I believed it was ‘too late’ and I had to keep working, and work more and more zealously.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain in doubt of my decision to continue working because even the work that I did at school was all virtually useless because I never used it in my day to day life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having made a stupid decision to continue working because I was constantly told that this work was useful, but everywhere I looked in my daily life showed that the work I was doing at school was separate from my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the observation that I made that as I was progressing at school, more of this work was placed in front of me, and I thought to myself, “What an excellent way to distract someone by placing work in front of them, so much that no questions are asked any longer.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being moulded by suggestion if I allow myself to place more of myself as time and attention to work, so much work that I stop exercising my common sense, to replace it with remembering facts.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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6 Responses to Day 129: You Don’t Work Hard

  1. Pingback: Day 130: I Can Only Do So Much… | Kasper's Journey To Life

  2. Pingback: Day 131: Respecting Opinions For No Reason | Kasper's Journey To Life

  3. Pingback: Day 132: Shit There’s Inequality!!!! | Kasper's Journey To Life

  4. Pingback: Day 133: Avoidance is The Trap | Kasper's Journey To Life

  5. Pingback: Day 134: You’re Either First Or Nothing | Kasper's Journey To Life

  6. Pingback: Day 135: You’re Responsible For A Stable Life | Kasper's Journey To Life

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