Self Commitment Statement
When/as I see myself applying myself in my studies and fear comes up, I stop and breathe. I realise that even if I study for an entire day, I am still here so I may apply my common sense equal and one to if I did not work at all, just as specific and detailed. I commit myself to stop fuelling the delusion that I will lose myself if I work long enough and often enough, to instead expose to myself the possibility of working full throttle as who I am, unrelated to competition or comparison or jealousy, I am what I give. I commit myself to give myself every opportunity to see failure for what it is and learn immediately, instead of delaying self correction out of the delusion that to learn from big mistakes, I must incur big debt/regret on myself to repay with time and suffering.
The following statements will be investigated more thoroughly in the next post:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the belief that working most of the time meant that I was denying myself the ability to work myself out in common sense, as what to do and not do.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that I remain here when I am working most of the time, therefore my ability to apply common sense remain here even if I work all day with no rest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that when I work all day, I will be too tired to apply my common sense and be forced to accept suggestions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I am vulnerable to suggestions when I have worked all day, become so tired to “not be able to” decide, and as such allow myself to follow through suggestions without any assesment whatsoever.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that because my environment is capable of dictating my decisions, that any power I am given is ‘fake’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that my thought, word, and deed was proven to be powerless when my school environment dictated that I must either follow the path laid out, or be casted out immediately.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up applying myself in thought, word, and deed out of the excuse that my environment has already proven how ‘weak’ my decision is, it would be useless to ‘go against the flow’ of what my environment is pushing me to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship of fear to/towards me as my environment.