Day 132: Shit There’s Inequality!!!!

“I continued to justify my decision with a past memory of fearing being first, when I was even younger and noticed that only a handful of students – the ones with the highest marks – would be regarded as ‘worthy’. I happened to walk by a classroom where there were two teachers speaking about how stupid many of the students were and I heard my name, then the other teacher said, “No, he actually does okay. He’s not bad.” I reacted to how my friends were being separated by a man made standard based on a handful of criteria because I knew that there was more to a person than their performance academically, but I didn’t apply this knowledge.” — from Day 128: Promotion as Fear of Failure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to/towards my observation that people that got high numbers on a test were treated like royalty compared to everyone else getting lower numbers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to see the world as “better than” a world where people are given real benefits in practice when they get higher numbers, while those with lower numbers as grades are seen as ‘lesser human beings’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide/suppress my own observation of the world that is HERE, out of the excuse of my self interest; I wanted the world to be better than what I was seeing here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the want/need/desire for a better world with integrity according to a feeling that I want this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy and not see/realise/understand that what I want/need/desire remains fake until an action, with an outcome that accumulates to/towards my decision in fact, is lived as consistently as I currently do what is comfortable for my emotions/feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘skip’ taking responsibility for my actions, how I treat others, out of the excuse that I feared other people treating each other unequally.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that me, taking responsibility for MY actions/responses/behaviour, has NOTHING to do with what other people are doing, before judging what they do as ‘good’/’acceptable’ or ‘bad’/’unacceptable’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility for my own behaviour out of the excuse that I fear what other people are/might be doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that to be a good person, I have to make sure I do not act in certain ways, and enforce the same rules on others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that who I am is at war if/when other people are acting in ways that I have restricted myself from acting, out of the excuse/justification that who I am is being changed when in fact, I am just seeing my own reflection within/as my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I am being changed against my will when others do things that I could not imagine myself doing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am is defined by what I do, no other point.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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3 Responses to Day 132: Shit There’s Inequality!!!!

  1. Pingback: Day 133: Avoidance is The Trap | Kasper's Journey To Life

  2. Pingback: Day 134: You’re Either First Or Nothing | Kasper's Journey To Life

  3. Pingback: Day 135: You’re Responsible For A Stable Life | Kasper's Journey To Life

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