- Day 128: Promotion as Fear of Failure
- Day 129: You Don’t Work Hard
- Day 130: I Can Only Do So Much…
- Day 131: Respecting Opinions For No Reason
- Day 132: Shit There’s Inequality!!!!
- Day 133: Avoidance is The Trap
- Day 134: You’re Either First Or Nothing
Continuing from Day 134: You’re Either First Or Nothing – read this post for context
When/as I see myself defining my self worth according to academic performance – the means to develop my performance as studying, how often I study, how well I study, the marks I achieve when practicing questions, when doing an exam/test/quiz – I stop and breathe. I realise that I am victimizing myself to a number/grade if/when I base my self worth on academic performance, and in this ignore my own contribution and commitment to myself, shown in the daily practice, instead of prioritizing myself as the real Self that constantly decides to study and does it, walks the entire length and detail of studying. I commit myself to realise that I can enjoy myself within/as the entire length and detail of studying, and that who I am is OBVIOUSLY not just a number, even if that number/mark basically determines my entire financial future; the Sun doesn’t shine because of our economy.
When/as I see myself rejecting myself, by simply denying myself the action of self acceptance, because of what other people are doing or achieving, I stop and breathe. I realise that who I really am is not just money, I am the sum accumulation of my participation in reality, where every single moment is sustained by a physical Breath because I was not born through injecting money into my first breath. I commit myself to participate in the points that were here before money and accept that who I am is the accumulative participation in every single moment where, a single breath has always been priceless.
When/as I see myself observing what others are doing and I am reacting, I stop and breathe. I realise that when I observe others, it can be used by my Mind to ignore and suppress what I am doing in that moment, where if I had remained aware of what I was doing, then observe others, I would have known myself better. I commit myself to stop being an elite within/as/towards myself ignoring myself at times, to instead remain here with myself no matter what I am doing because I choose to become less intimate – more numb – to who I am, which is a stupid point to exercise my free choice within/as because it’s like creating a bigger hole to fall into.
When/as I see myself observing how others are treating myself and others unequally, I stop and breathe. I realise that I leave the possibility open to manipulate myself from realising the full extent of my actions, if I continue to observe how others are treating people unequally, meanwhile the question is left unanswered, “Why is my attention drawn to how others are treating people unequally?” I commit myself to STOP leaving myself and my life to chance when observing other people’s discriminating behaviour, to instead make sure that I am here, aware of my own thoughts/words/deeds so that any moment they are not aligned to “Giving as I would like to Receive”, I correct my own behaviour first.