This post is continued from:
- Day 136: Abandonment/Aloneness Character, Introduction
- Day 137: Abandonment Character, Problem
- Day 138: What’s Wrong With Reacting?
- Day 139: Normal as Group Psychology
- Day 140: Solutions To Birth Supportive Norms
- Day 141: What Does A List Mean To You?
- Day 142: It’s Complicated
- Day 143: Too Busy Competing To Value My Human Body
- Day 145: What is a Friendship?
- Day 146: Friend Potential
- Day 147: Will You Agree When I Copy You Then?
See the previous post for context
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I am clever because I let others test the patterns before I apply them into my daily living.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate certainty to/towards others, in the belief that others have tested way more possibilities than I have and apply what works for them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself with my own life when/as I project certainty outward onto the actions of others and copy entire behaviour patterns from others.
I commit myself to when and as I am uncertain about what to do, and look to others for answers, to stop and breathe. I realise that by the absolute fact that we are all equally existing within/as a human body, that I must maintain my own human body as I would maintain my own affairs, simply because both points are my responsibility alone to/towards/for myself. I commit myself to stop competing with others, to instead continue to walk the process of understanding my own creation, in this realising that waiting for others to solve my problems is quite stupid.
I commit myself to when and as I take other people’s criticism personally and try to avoid this negative experience by copying other’s behaviours, to stop and breathe. I realise that until I face the negative experience as myself, I will not reach any practical solution whatsoever until I face that which is ugly, the nitty gritty of my creation as myself. I commit myself to stop copying behaviours as prematurely creating make believe solutions, to instead place the axe at the root first, by/through deconstructing the negative experience as cause of me wanting to move as a feeling of “if I don’t move I will get squashed”, and only when I have let go of the negative experience and am here in physical reality, to measure out practical changes for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to avoid other people berating me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in a superior position in my Mind when/as I acquiesce to the other’s complaints and copy their living example.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in a way, abandon the other when/as I spite them by/through mimicking their behaviour to avoid being criticised.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon the other by/through placing myself in a position of superiority, to see them as inferior thus creating inequality within my own relationship to the other, in spite that ultimately, we are all human beings finding a way to practically direct ourselves in this world.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself copying other people’s behaviour, to stop and breathe. I realise that I am spiting the other and spiting myself when I copy other people’s behaviour because I have accepted and allowed myself to play a mind game with myself wherein I portray myself to be superior and the other as apparently inferior. I commit myself to stop copying other’s behaviours, to bring the point of reaction – that drove me to copy them in the first place – back to myself and remain attentive on what I am doing, why I am doing what I am doing.
I commit myself to when and as I feel like a group of people are pushing me to do something differently, to stop and breathe. I realise that when I experience pressure to do something, I am the group that is harassing me, I am the one placing that pressure on myself. I commit myself to realise that if I do not accept or allow myself to do it, I will not do it so I commit myself to stop participating in creating pressure on myself as fear of the future, to instead place my attention on rather perfecting my daily living actions.