Continued from Day 151: Postponing The Change
Note: Posts will get longer when I sort my self commitment out. I am experimenting with valuing daily blogging over length because before, I would stop for months at a time; I would not be satisfied with my posts, no guarantee of when I will post again. The Journey to Life being a benchmark where we indicate our effectiveness as moving as a group, I waste my own time if I do not commit myself for real and do this daily.
I commit myself to when and as I feel like I cannot stand for a principle, and must survive at the sacrifice of doing what is best for all, to stop and breathe. I realise that I am treating principle and survival as two points that must be separate, while the fact remains that what I need to do to live in this world does not change like my mood, and within this certain specific principles remain relevant to look directly at my own creation and live in this world in real time. I commit myself to stop separating principle from survival, in this instead of looking at mental IDEAS, bring my attention back to what I am creating, what characters am I fuelling when I continue this train of thought?
I commit myself to when and as I believe other people dictate what I can and can’t do by/through their words and behaviours to/towards me, to stop and breathe. I realise that this is not an excuse to accept and allow myself to do anything and everything only because other people are forcing me, I remain responsible for my actions and every action I do other people will also hold me alone to be responsible; I remain responsible for myself, practically measurable through time. I commit myself to stop the stupidity of generalizing all of my actions to be the group’s fault – all the other groups, them/they. I commit myself to instead be as physically here as my absolute relationship to my creation/action as creator because even other people will hold me responsible when I make a mistake, and in this Life should be a creation where each one is held responsible for their own actions, so I require to hold myself responsible for ALL of my actions if I ever have any chance to be worthy and trustworthy of Life.
I commit myself to when and as I feel unstable because of feeling like not being part of any group, to stop and breathe. I realise that yes, I am alone to face what I have done to myself and made of my world, and in this I realise that against the biggest group of all, Life itself, I created an entire ego to systematically compromise every part of Life, so when/as I feel alone because ‘I’m not in a group’ = this is an indication that I am justifying my ego to continue the abuse of Life to get worse, where it is inevitable that I will face the consequences to ALL for my creation as what I made of my life, what I have made into an atrocity. I commit myself to face my own creation immediately, by first digging into how/why I go into a feeling of powerlessness, making up statements like “I’m alone”, when I could have placed one and one together to identify the context of the seemingly insurmountable limitation as the task, and remain here to ground my investigation within/as the physical reality all share equally, in terms of being fully exposed to cause and effect.