Continued from Day 156: Frustration To Overwhelmingness:
I commit myself to when and as I ask others for answers, to eventually blame ‘them’ for not having an answer I can live with as accumulate real consequences for the rest of my life when/as I accept X answer to be fact, to stop and breathe. I realise that when I blame others – any excuse – I deliberately ignore/’camouflage’ the question, ‘What will I do’, because within/as blaming others in my Mind, I ‘lose’ my grounding to Energy cycles. I commit myself to stop emotionally depending on other people having answers, to instead stand within/as my own ability to equate answers from being here in physical reality and being specific and detailed as possible to understand myself, my environment as myself, and the option as myself. I commit myself to realise that when I react to others not having an answer, I am accessing a mind construct within myself as my own relationship with the event, other person not having answers, and within this I commit myself to realise that before I ask the question, I remain responsible for giving an answer to myself.
I commit myself to when and as I am pushing myself to do something through emotions/feelings disguised as ‘motivation’/’I feel like it’, to stop and breathe. I realise that I have not changed because no matter what the ‘motivation’, the driving force as the fears have not changed because I have not faced my face of fear of death in multiple forms. I commit myself to stop wasting my own time, deceiving myself that I have changed by actually speaking the words within myself, to instead realise that real change does not require words, so I commit myself to use manifested consequence, such as the change in my daily routine, the way I participate, and silence as a tool to indicate when I have really changed, and within this I commit myself to be direct with myself about my change or lack of change. I commit myself to face my fears when I have not changed, within this realising that the only reason why I have not changed is because I have not faced all the fears within myself in relation to that specific point of change.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself doubting placing X proportion of time into studying educational material, to stop and breathe. I realise that beyond any doubt, I require to study for X proportion of time to prepare myself for the tests and exams and pass them, within this walk the easier path in terms of earning money. I commit myself to persist to study the educational material because of the obvious consequence if I stop studying the educational material for even one single day: I give myself less and less time to study X amount of educational material and have to cover more material per day, until a point where I cannot cover the required progress in one day and fail myself in my self commitment to grasp the opportunity. I commit myself to study the educational material for the simple reason that if I do not, I compromise my life because studying regularly is a key to passing exams.
I commit myself to when and as I am asking others questions out of doubt, to stop and breathe. I realise that my questions to others will only be effective when my starting point for the questions are clear, in that I am already clear in myself about what information I am missing. I commit myself to stop participating in the doubt, to instead place my attention back to myself, to make sure that I understand my own questions before asking them and when/as the time is here, to write out the doubt and apply the tools of self forgiveness and self commitment statements with self correction lived in real time, because the doubt reaction will repeat itself until I understand my own creation in fact.