Continued from Day 157: Only I Have To Live With My Decisions
I commit myself to when and as I am forcing myself to go to school through thoughts/emotions/feelings as knowledge/information, to stop and breathe. I realise that if I accept knowledge/information to be the starting point of me going to school, I make my own reactions to/towards going to school even worse because instead of facing myself, I suppress myself with the knowledge/information of “I should go to school”. I commit myself to realise that going to school simply means passing the tests and exams, and within this simply means studying regularly, so I commit myself to study the books necessary, dedicating one hour of time per book and basically read with practical application.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself fearing being brainwashed by/through going to school, to stop and breathe. I realise that if I remain dedicated to understanding my own creation to understand what is here to direct what is here, I decide. I Commit myself to walk one post per day, in this realising that writing a blog is a moment to exercise being intimate with myself to in fact prove to myself that I remain able to self forgive, so I commit myself to write one blog daily to daily confirm for myself that I am not enslaved by my own creation, I am in fact investigating my own creation and keeping that which is best for all.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting to going to school, fighting within myself about how this is the only way to survive but there are many rules I do not agree with, to stop and breathe. I realise that I am reacting to a rule where I interpret this rule as something I am ‘being forced’ to follow and embody, in this playing with myself in my Mind to justify being angry and frustrated to stop doing what needs to be done within school. I commit myself to see my starting point for what it is = self interest therefore I commit myself to be self honest about placing myself in positions of victim because being a victim is always not best for all: victim means potential to go into pity, self doubt, depression, everything that does NOT support self to be self motivated. I commit myself to make sure that I do not place myself into a position to become unstable, such as justifying anger and frustration to replace critical reasoning for changing my actions.