Part of a series of posts I am doing to dismantle myself:
- Day 154: Overwhelm Yourself to Control Yourself
- Day 155: Pressure to Succeed
- Day 156: Frustration To Overwhelmingness
- Day 157: Only I Have To Live With My Decisions
- Day 159: Only One Way To Survive
I commit myself to when and as I interpret school to override my decision making ability, making believe that school has power over me through money, to stop and breathe. I realise that I have absolute power over who I will be, what I choose to live out because when what I decide is not what is best for all, school as the human beings in charge of regulations will also hold me accountable for the decision that I accepted and allowed. I realise that within this, my arrogant decision to follow energy/thoughts/emotions/feelings so lightly, and my ignorance of who I decided to be/become is also a decision that I accepted and allowed, and I accepted and allowed myself to act in ignorance; no one else can make me ignorant of myself, so how important is self honesty when I can even deceive myself into believing that I have not been deceived, I am ‘free’, I am ‘happy’, my ‘haven’ is all that matters to me (positive)/fuck everyone else (negative).
I commit myself to become aware of the decisions that I have made by myself, and as my first action I commit myself to forgive myself for the stupid decisions I made before giving me back to myself, the story that I had “hidden” from myself.
This post isn’t long enough.