Part of a series of posts:
- Day 154: Overwhelm Yourself to Control Yourself
- Day 155: Pressure to Succeed
- Day 156: Frustration To Overwhelmingness
- Day 157: Only I Have To Live With My Decisions
- Day 159: Only One Way To Survive
- Day 160: Authority Clash
“How can I do my best when my parents say that the stuff at school is kind of useless?”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that if/when I am participating in any activity that is “uncertain in utility”, I am wasting myself and my time while there is a standard that I must meet by a time in the future.
I commit myself to when and as I fear wasting my time on X activity, such that I am tempted to stop, to stop and breathe. I realise that what is absolute fact is that I waste time when I participate in a fear, instead of addressing my own fear by/through investigating all things and keeping that which is best for all and in every moment in fact, I am given an opportunity to investigate myself in one breath, according to what is here as myself in one breath and walk what is here in one breath to self honesty, self intimacy. I commit myself to realise that what I am considering when assessing my participation is always reality, so I commit myself to investigate reality practically, by practicing remaining here with myself to understand my Mind as what not to do, in this realising that in the process of walking my journey to Life, from personality system to real compassion, self intimacy/self acceptance/self honesty is critical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that the standards are ‘set higher’ than what I can do by a time period.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that the standards I interpret are absolute where if I do not meet those standards – I am simply spit out by the world unceremoniously.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being spit out by the world system unceremoniously, without a single moment of remorse or guilt.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that when I am doing something that I perceive to be useless, I am wasting my life by my own acceptance and allowance and the only way to stop wasting my life is to stop doing that which I interpret to be useless.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that when I am doing something with absolute attention to detail, I ‘open myself up’ to be conned out of my own labour.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my own imagination of someone possibly conning me of my labour by/through urging myself through a feeling to stop dedicating myself to that task which I suspect another to be benefitting from at my expense.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself suspecting any person conning me of my own “blood, sweat, and tears” as focus/attention/discipline and time, to stop and breathe. I realise that no one, no matter how clever they appear to be, can hide/suppress what I have already walked. I commit myself to realise that in terms of labour, I am the guaranteed recipient of the consequences of my labour, the process I had walked cannot be transferred or refunded at all, so I commit myself to live the word discipline as a tool to support myself with here.