Day 163: I Have A Choice To Stop Working

Part of a series of posts:

I commit myself to when and as I see myself wanting to stop participating in an activity because I interpret the activity to be an uncertain investment of myself as my life, to stop and breathe. I realise that wanting to stop participating in an activity for this reason is indicating that I have not investigated the activity at all and therefore I simply require to investigate. I commit myself to thoroughly investigate the activity by/through facing my own fears and uncertainties by/through listing them out for myself, and giving myself actions to prevent fucking around with my own life.

The activity I am referring to is continuously working, doing things that are positive for my real life and not my ego alone. When I realise that I am actually doing something different daily, when it’s related to intelligence or survival in terms of “I do this to get the opportunity to earn money“, I react in overwhelmingness because I project myself into the future of “how long must I keep this work up until I can stop.” Then the positive polarity of “when I am working hard and intelligent I can rest”, in this participating in self interest and diminishing work into an excuse to be greedy. Then I switch back to negative thoughts, such as “Am I getting ‘what I deserve’ with what I am giving?”

I commit myself to when and as I see myself suspecting another taking advantage of me and seeing them as ‘evil’ as a distraction to justify to myself why I can stop doing a specific activity, to stop and breathe. I realise that I am placing very deliberate preparation within myself to chase after a want/need/desire for ‘freedom’/’happiness’/’peace’, that I superstitiously believe will happen if I “take things easier”/do less work. I commit myself to realise that to be intimate with myself in fact, I must be willing to expose myself to the motivations of my actions that I would publicly smirk at within myself.

I commit myself to stop judging others as ‘evil’ or ‘good’ and in this stop tacitly judging myself as ‘good’ or ‘evil’. I commit myself to stop avoiding work by/through accusing others for “being evil“, to instead have enough compassion to face my own insecurities and fears that are triggered when wanting/needing/desiring to stop doing something by writing self forgiveness statements with corresponding self commitment statements and most importantly, test my own words and re-script myself until I am living the self corrective actions.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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