Day 170: Game of Life, Game of Intelligence

I commit myself to when/as I see myself obsessing over intelligence/being intelligent, to stop and breathe. I realise that when I want/need/desire to be intelligent this is an indication where I am participating in self interest, so when I had the free choice to decide what I am in that moment, I decided for less than what is best for all and only what is best for me. I commit myself to stop the search for myself within/as intelligence/being intelligent and re-reverse my attention from searching ‘out there for that intelligence over there’ to grounding myself back here in the moment with the responsibility I have to/towards caring for my human physical body. I commit myself to stop accumulating the frustration of not getting the desire, to instead expose myself to the decisions I had already accepted and allowed when I was chasing after the desire to be intelligent.

I commit myself to when/as I see myself desiring to be/become intelligent, to stop and breathe. I realise that I abandon myself and suppress my own self judgment of myself as stupid when desiring to be intelligent, so I realise that I am participating in the delusion of going ‘over there’. I commit myself to stop suppressing my experience of myself with a pursuit of ‘positive ideals’ such as being intelligent/smart/quick etc. I commit myself to redefine intelligence as the consistent and stable application of facing Self, seeing Self for what Self is, – such as the insecurities I must have suppressed to feel urged to chase after a desire – within this I commit myself to redefine intelligence to be communication with myself and the consistent stable self movement – able to self honestly see myself do this for a lifetime – to a more specific awareness of Self here in every moment, which includes seeing the difference between a thought and physical sensations.

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tacitly believe that people are here to con me when/as I participate in the word ‘intelligence’ as myself, as how I defined the word as the ability to escape other people’s cons.” Expanding with self forgiveness on points that I did not see before.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that intelligence will create more stability within myself and my life in general.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this, hope that investing money into my intelligence through education will create myself to be more stable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that if I do not see myself as intelligent, I am at risk of losing access to money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that if others do not see me as intelligent, I am at risk of being kicked out of access to money, through kicking me out of access to relationship with them, advice giving from them, receiving job opportunities from them.

I commit myself to when/as I see myself being intelligent in the hope of creating more stability, to stop and breathe. I realise that I in fact create more instability because I participate in the positive energy of being intelligent and in this, ignore my own beliefs about stupidity and fail myself to address them. I commit myself to realise that being intelligent in my Mind is creating/generating instability in my life and in myself, and being intelligent in my Mind will not make me stop feeling stupid in fact, behind the gestures.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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