I commit myself to when/as I see myself obsessing over intelligence/being intelligent, to stop and breathe. I realise that when I want/need/desire to be intelligent this is an indication where I am participating in self interest, so when I had the free choice to decide what I am in that moment, I decided for less than what is best for all and only what is best for me. I commit myself to stop the search for myself within/as intelligence/being intelligent and re-reverse my attention from searching ‘out there for that intelligence over there’ to grounding myself back here in the moment with the responsibility I have to/towards caring for my human physical body. I commit myself to stop accumulating the frustration of not getting the desire, to instead expose myself to the decisions I had already accepted and allowed when I was chasing after the desire to be intelligent.
I commit myself to when/as I see myself desiring to be/become intelligent, to stop and breathe. I realise that I abandon myself and suppress my own self judgment of myself as stupid when desiring to be intelligent, so I realise that I am participating in the delusion of going ‘over there’. I commit myself to stop suppressing my experience of myself with a pursuit of ‘positive ideals’ such as being intelligent/smart/quick etc. I commit myself to redefine intelligence as the consistent and stable application of facing Self, seeing Self for what Self is, – such as the insecurities I must have suppressed to feel urged to chase after a desire – within this I commit myself to redefine intelligence to be communication with myself and the consistent stable self movement – able to self honestly see myself do this for a lifetime – to a more specific awareness of Self here in every moment, which includes seeing the difference between a thought and physical sensations.
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tacitly believe that people are here to con me when/as I participate in the word ‘intelligence’ as myself, as how I defined the word as the ability to escape other people’s cons.” Expanding with self forgiveness on points that I did not see before.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this, hope that investing money into my intelligence through education will create myself to be more stable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that if I do not see myself as intelligent, I am at risk of losing access to money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that if others do not see me as intelligent, I am at risk of being kicked out of access to money, through kicking me out of access to relationship with them, advice giving from them, receiving job opportunities from them.
I commit myself to when/as I see myself being intelligent in the hope of creating more stability, to stop and breathe. I realise that I in fact create more instability because I participate in the positive energy of being intelligent and in this, ignore my own beliefs about stupidity and fail myself to address them. I commit myself to realise that being intelligent in my Mind is creating/generating instability in my life and in myself, and being intelligent in my Mind will not make me stop feeling stupid in fact, behind the gestures.