What environmental factors lead me to have the thought in this post? Most prominent was the idea of a curriculum, that it was absolute and the conditions of a curriculum. The students forced to follow them, were given no voice, no questions allowed that question the curriculum that question the administration that prescribe the curriculum. This was not told to me; it was shown. The one time I ask a question about what the information being taught could be used for, I get shouted down, demanded to stop. This would have been okay until I was the one systematically forced to sit down, hour by hour, to listen to material that is very cryptic, in that we ask how practical it really is then we are apparently ‘rebels’ and ‘evil’ and all names. In the school before my questions were answered with explanations, in grade school I was introduced to being answered with brute force yelling, intimidation, threats.
Another aspect would be the threats. It is quite plain to see that when in school, our parents place us there, and we are told one story: school is the only way and no matter how much it doesn’t make sense we must abide by the rules. After walking grade school for a few months, doing the same thing/living the same day, study, test, I wanted to stop. The threat would be the threat of money, school represents money and our parents tend to be adamant on school, meanwhile we all laugh at how little we actually remember/learnt at school.
The activity I was forced to be a part of: the cycle of studying material I was not allowed to measure the practicality of, and being tested on such questionable material, ad nauseum. By a few months I had taken maybe 20 tests total for different subjects. I repeated the cycle 20 times and then decided to maybe stop: but I realised immediately that I couldn’t. Fear was immense because one thing I knew: survival. I trusted my parents to know exactly what I needed to survive, and they frantically point at school.
Authority. Before grade school, there was authority but it was not used to suppress questioning what was here. At grade school authority was used repeatedly to suppress any aspect of myself, of thought, word, or deed.
And the logistics of going to school. I go to school, walk from room to room, memorizing material to pass tests.