Day 191: School And Coercion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the delusion that I was changing because my routine was being manhandled by school from the perspective that to do well on a test, I would have to actually do work, the kind that everyone does the same way and cannot be transferred.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I must be forced into the routine because school is superior to me because of representing a bank of knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame ‘something’ to be brainwashing me, meanwhile I had done no investigation or even identified what changed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I must be careful of what I place into routine because I could be benefitting someone with less payoff/profit than what I would have been earning in the market system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that others could manipulate me without me knowing about it.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself into a position of apparent victim to/towards others out of the paranoia that others could manipulate me to make me sabotage my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that my routine is out of my control out of the excuse/justification that for me to stay in school, I must do all the tests and pass them, and to do all the tests my routine must give time to study for the test, and I wake up to go to school.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the conclusion that school is controlling me out of the justification that if I fail a few tests, I will probably be kicked out and with this kicked out of everything I have in an instant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my daily routine according to an abstraction of money that I exchange to be capable of pleasing everyone that decide my access to money, wherein in my Mind I believe people may like opposite traits and I have to please most if not all of them; one person disliking me is more chance of being kicked out, and I have to please all to survive with one routine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the actual doing of a routine according to PLEASING OTHERS so that others are pleased and give me more rewards, but I must apparently search out there for means/methods/’skillful procedures’ to remain at the top of the pile and feel like I am on the top of the pile.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine an entity as school preordaining my routine because I concluded within myself that I had to be what others liked to be accepted, and this meant doing work to other’s standard of perfection like a test at school, and even invalidating my own common sense to fulfill other’s standard as I also had to prove to others I can be trusted with their life.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that trust is built between two individuals by/through one individual breaking his own rules to benefit the other, in this ignoring the actual doing required to be able to trust myself so that I prove to myself first that I can be trusted with responsibility.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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One Response to Day 191: School And Coercion

  1. Pingback: Dag 243: Kroppen Min – Min Rygg Ska Vara V-formad (Del 30) | Viktor Persson

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