I commit myself to when/as I see myself complaining about doing the same routine over and over, to stop and breathe. I realise that I am simply doing the task, as I would begin ANY task, breathing in, making a decision of what I will do in THIS moment immediately, and breath out and do it.
I commit myself to doing a routine according to beginning one task, because I am always beginning one task and because reality means being absolutely clear in EVERY moment what task I am beginning, I commit myself to understand that after all research, I still need to breathe, which also means that I still need to make decisions as a commitment to one task and doing that one task in this moment, so I commit myself to discard future projections to instead take this one moment that I HAVE to breathe, and make the most of this one breath doing one task that would accumulate to an outcome that is best for all. I commit myself to investigate through actual doing – no words spoken internally – the statement that Lao Tzu wrote: “Make the small big and the few many” from the starting point of understanding the statement in such a way that I permanently ‘change’ my values from leaning towards the future, so to speak, to standing in the present with present responsibilities.
I commit myself to when/as I possess myself with a haggard and weary attitude towards me doing the same routine, to stop and breathe. I realise that because I have done the routine before, within one day, and I’m still here, I am physically able to do the routine therefore the haggard and weary feeling I create to participate in the routine is something I add in addition to the actual doing, so when I feel weary and haggard doing the same routine with a THOUGHT about the routine then justify my own attitude through not doing the routine, I realise that I am blaming the routine when in fact, I added/created my own attitude towards what has to be done as a matter as important as breathing. I commit myself to do the routine because I have done it before, and the physical requirements for doing the one task is mostly attention. I commit myself to breathe through the haggard and weary emotions from the starting point of letting them go, so I can do the one task I placed for myself.
It is fascinating that even with being lazy, it adds up to a routine of sorts. What is necessary for a routine to be ‘doable’ over months at a time – so long enough that I cannot suppress emotions/feelings and get it over with grudgingly – I require a similar kind of comfortability with ‘being productive/’responsible’ ‘ as with resting. That being said, a routine is simply doing the same list of tasks for the same amounts of time. In this, a routine in simple form is 1 task + 1 task etc. so that haste, stress, anger, ambition at any stage of 1 + 1 is extraneous. So while yes, a routine that is 5 hours long will always take 5 hours, the common denominator of a routine is simply what is the task at hand, does it accumulate to what is best for all: is surfing the Internet about chocolate sundaes more important than writing the notes I have to write by myself to understand a topic.