Since writing about a character, writing self commitment statements have been the most time consuming. I would expect myself to write more self commitment statements per post, except that I don’t write any faster expecting myself to write faster. The challenge of writing self commitment statements is unlike self forgiveness, I’m not writing out the problem I’ve already created, opening up a trigger that was already created. The self commitments only are worth anything if I live them, so the statements have to be real.
It’s much easier to write about an event in a day, and write self forgiveness, self commitment statements in response to myself. The recent series of posts have been taking one character, and opening up the thought dimensions, fear, imagination, backchat, memories: I’m still on the thought dimension. And re-reading my own writing I see I’m not focused enough.
The past series of posts about routine were to prepare myself to live a routine, but when pushing for this outcome I see that in a way, I side stepped myself within/as ‘who I am’ in the routine to blather on about what I think routine is.