Day 218: Pressure To Be Perfect

Writing self forgiveness statements for Day 216: Survival, Perfection, Ambition, to open up the writing further to investigate my relationship to perfection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pressure myself to survive and interpret surviving according to joining the chase for the perfect set of skills, traits, ideas, knowledge/information to trade for money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define perfection according to reaching something unattainable, yet I must attain or else I will die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that because perfection is unattainable I must always ‘push my own limits’, be ‘unstable’/’unsatisfied’ with myself, and be willing to ‘do everything it takes’ to possess perfection, which in my Mind is required to survive. In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I must pursue perfection because perfection is required to survive, out of the excuse/justification that if I do not strive to be perfect in thoughts, words, and deeds – traits, skills, services, producing products – I will be out-levelled by others that are competing to eventually ‘slip back’ to the bottom of the pile and because I already believed that people do not care if I lose my job as access to money, I would be left to starve and they would justify why I have to starve – not being ‘good enough’ at my job because I did not compete.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I must compete through chasing for perfection, achieve perfection ‘faster than’ others so that I remain one of the top few minority, or else others will achieve perfection and then I will be robbed of the benefits I do have in a position even if I remain consistent in the quality of products I produce.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a feeling of dread and anxiety when/as seeing others grow, out of the excuse that the more others grow, the ‘less of an advantage and reason I have to be in the role compared to others’.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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