Day 219: Tensing Up The Body

Getting tense in my body again.  And the first thoughts I have are how the people around me – everything and everyone else – are making me tense.  This is survival paranoia, lately I have been using the arm bar and such much more often.  Left shoulder pulsing, left neck pulsing.  Revving up to survive, tensing up as if ready to be punched, brusque movements, careless handling of materials, rushing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for me, tensing up my body and keeping it tense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate the tensing and relaxing of my muscles to/towards other people’s words/behaviours.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that survival paranoia will survive for me, while in every single moment breath is what is sustaining me, not survival paranoia.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that to survive, I must be paranoid about survival and obsessed with survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear using the arm bar and such body language so much that I become a person that habitually uses the arm bar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as the realisation that arm bars and such body language is a form of communication, and in this I am responsible for what I am communicating through body movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I may only ever communicate violence through body movement, instead of realising that violence itself is never rewarded, and body language being communication I decide what I communicate to others like what words I speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach my expression within my human body to my interpreted connection with ‘my’ audience and my Mind’s audience as other people, their words/behaviours about and towards me.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
This entry was posted in 7 Year Journey To Life, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Day 219: Tensing Up The Body

  1. Pingback: Dag 258: Förräderi! | Viktor Persson

  2. Pingback: Day 43: My Top Secret Relationship With Razors | Viktor Persson

  3. Pingback: Dag 259: Ansvar För Min Omgivning | Viktor Persson

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s