I commit myself to when/as I see myself forcing myself to do something without understanding my self imposed limitations and attempt to ‘pretend my excuses/justifications are not there’, to stop and breathe. I realise that citing perfection as the reason that I might succeed in ‘expanding my limits’ is like justifying myself gambling away my life and my time and my attention to something that will not produce an outcome that is best for ALL, hoping the future will be bright and I will succeed, hoping and not seeing the opportunity cost as not caring about myself enough to identify and abide by the mathematical relationship of here. I commit myself to stop participating in the positive polarity of ‘pushing my limits’ from the starting point of ‘running away from myself’, to instead commit myself to remain grounded in reality, reminding myself that I can only do so much within 24 hours because I am one human body in the world, because compared to what I imagine myself as able to do, what I can do in reality will always be negative when I am positive – in a positive reaction – because it seems too little to compete with. In this, I commit myself to stop participating in inferiority, when I perceive myself as having ‘too little to compete with’, to instead commit myself, with self honesty, to the tasks and routines I already can trust myself to do within the understanding that I do what I can do to do more; I start with my capacities exactly as they are in the beginning and with what is here as myself, I walk a space-time process to redesign myself into a version that can do more, but most importantly do what is best for all so in this, self forgiveness, writing, self corrective action are tools I can use to ensure that my self honesty reveals that I am part of a group and I realise it.
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