Day 231: Test Taking Fears

I commit myself to when/as I see myself interpreting tests as master over my life, a slave to tests, to stop and breathe.  I realise that tests are not the sum total of all the moments of my life, the fear I attached to tests is certainly unnecessary because what actually prepares me to do well on a test has nothing to do with fear, only actual doing: have I done the work, have I done it for long enough period of time, what is the activity, what does it actually require of me.  I commit myself to only involve myself in the nitty gritty details of the work required to understand X topic more intricately, instead of preparing myself just for the sake of a test – or to appease my ‘hidden’ fear of tests – because doing something for a test currently means excluding doing something for myself, and in this I commit myself to when/as I see myself fearing tests, reacting negatively – in depression for example – towards tests to stop, breathe, and recognize that I am creating fear and sticking it onto the word ‘test’, creating depressive emotion and sticking it onto the word ‘test’; of all the possible support I could possibly give myself, I am creating emotions/feelings to not do something that I have to do.  So I commit myself to stop participating in preparatory activities as if test were an entity looming over my every movement, to instead realise that, in a way, tests are a future event lasting two to three hours which test an extremely narrow detail out of all the detail I have missed of myself, such as how my body moves in each moment indicating reaction.


About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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1 Response to Day 231: Test Taking Fears

  1. Pingback: Dag 267: Söker Efter Samtycke | Viktor Persson

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