What I also understood – before the horror stories were told about what this world system was and what I need to do to stay in it – was that I am able to learn from every mistake I made. I had nothing to lose because I didn’t build an image designed to lean on outcomes out of my control, on actions that I couldn’t do immediately, on becoming things that I am not in this moment. I wasn’t worrying about how the way I hold my chopsticks would offend the people around me. I didn’t act first and go on assuming and believing and concluding and judging all the ways I might hold the chopsticks to find the one way where I do not offend. My starting point was physical in the beginning, so holding chopsticks was about my hand and the two chopsticks, and the purpose of the chopsticks were to pick up food which I required.
I would do everything almost in silence completely. I did not allow myself to leave situations to heckle myself later: I would always, when something arise, direct the point immediately. I did not leave myself in a frustrated feeling for X time, AND THEN direct the point after some emotional storms. I would rather direct the point as soon as possible, and that always was sooner than I thought or expected.
Everything I did was first about Self. What was MY OWN starting point. I did not fuss when I made a mistake. I also did not fuss about other people fussing about when I made a mistake.
So in this a few observations can be made about what I did. Even with no time to understand the culture I was born in, the physical reality is a point capable of designing and teaching one human body to give to others as I would like to receive, to do unto others as I would like to be done unto. If I ground myself in physical reality, I give myself all the internal environment stuff immediately, the nature of this self giving cannot be taken away by anyone yet it is not my possession or property at all; everyone breathes, everyone can ground themselves into physical reality, everyone can stop internally pestering themselves to remain silent.
Self worth is an immediate thing, you need to immediately use it to do anything in this world, from waking up to going to sleep. It would not make any sense if I need to immediately give myself labour, but my self worth is not here to immediately allow myself to move in that direction.
The biggest con that ever exists is my own Mind – it as myself defines my very beingness, which defines my finances to my relationships to how I walk to everything big and small, this is already understood by everyone which is why we do things to shape people into what we want them to do. I started off with self worth, and what is clear is that the mind clutter of reactions that I designed into myself is “stopping” me. So I was born with self worth, born with nothing of the ways of the world, but I had self worth. So with self worth I am looking at how am I obstructing myself, through my Mind. Self worth is more a “one breath here” thing, so it’s not like I cannot do anything until I understand my own Mind. Tacitly this means the value of an immediate moment is of far more worth than the existential moment of thought cluttering with past, present, future, who I am, who I will be. But this immediate moment by reality has nothing to do with how I see myself, everything to do with what I do, which is possible to do something out of character – if this weren’t true it would be mathematically impossible to change, and I have changed over the years, it is the very mechanism that everyone depends on for their own ego’s survival, for control.
The purpose of the writing is to word such obvious points into actual statements, in this investigating all things in a way that is best for all. This is important to me personally because I had lived in a more functional way before, and I could have only changed into an inferior human being than I was with nothing, if I had taken myself for granted, including the above statements that I had lived in the past.