Day 253: Why Do I Sleep In? Part 1

Posting the post below as a log, I may decide to specify this self commitment further because I do write about points other than the commitment itself.

I commit myself to when/as I am sleeping in out of the self interest of wanting to magically solve all of my problems without my own effort to understand each one of my problems, to forgive myself for exactly how I created myself as this one part,digging as deep as I can with words until according to my self honesty, I have let go and in fact forgiven every possible point about that one habit, to stop and breathe.  I realise that because my words/behaviours originate from a slow process of having my words defined for me, I will require a reverse process of redefining my words, and in this I realise that I defined my words through acting on definitions that I accepted and allowed, so to redefine one word, I will require to redefine that one word by, for example, writing out what exactly do I commit myself to, with the point of change only real, and the preparation of value, if I change in real time, at the same moment when I defined that one word to produce dysfunction.  Therefore, I realise that waking up, in the morning with a relaxed human body, is not equal to understanding the definition of one word through writing, and for the parts that I dislike to forgive myself for those parts, one at a time, so I realise that I attached a delusional hope into one idea about one moment, and within hoping, separating myself from the actual reality walking of understanding the value/definition I have attached to one word which not only requires time, but my starting point to investigate myself through writing, because writing is only a tool, a bridge to investigate myself.  In this, I realise the simple fact that one relaxed human body, regardless of any occasion/moment, is not equal to putting in the time I require to write to understand to let go of one habit, to the extent of being unable to re-establish that same habit ever again because that habit is not what is best for all and I give myself back to myself because the habit is obviously my own, yet when I decide to stop the habit it’s not so easy, how is the habit my own if I decide to stop and I cannot stop for real?  I commit myself to redefine waking up as the end cycle of sleep, not an existential permission slip for all my problems to magically disappear somehow.  Therefore I commit myself to accept myself as the reality that my problems remain for as long as I do not change them, and permanent change must require understanding of what is really going on, in my Mind, and in the world, and so I commit myself to assign the role of addressing my own internal conflicts to the activity that actually has this potential = writing, self forgiveness, self commitment statements and self corrective action, rather than leaving it to one ideal moment of waking up.  Therefore I commit myself to wake up, without reacting to my problems if they happen to be triggered before or after waking up, to instead realise that if I do not do some real actions such as writing to let go of my own beliefs about myself that justify that thought/word/deed, I may find the problem repeating until I understand for real, which will require some real action which will occupy a portion of my time, that I must give to myself, and in this I commit myself to wake up comfortable because I decide when and to what standard I write to investigate myself.


About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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