Also, today I learned that people that try to mess things up are here to make me take responsibility to direct my own things/points to stop accepting and allowing my affairs to be directed by circumstances. I mention this post today because I accepted and allowed events to direct myself from showering a reasonable time before sleeping, and I’ve decided that I should respect my own body and stop sleeping at 1 a.m. And this is written so I have a log.
I commit myself to when/as I see myself fearing what my Mind will bring up in a day, so I delay waking up, to stop and breathe. I realise that I am accepting and allowing myself to be lazy with a point that requires me to write about that one specific point that comes up, for real, every time, and that the consequence of waking up later is I take away from myself the amount of hours in a day, and leave opportunity to recreate my Mind through thoughts before waking up. In this, I realise that by being lazy and postponing waking up, I generate the nature of laziness to exist in me, when waking up can be as simple as breathing one breath, and moving my body out of the bed. I commit myself to stop waking up at the last moment according to my Mind’s judgment. I commit myself to wake up when I am awake, regardless of how I feel in the moment because I will only understand myself as the various conflicts that emerge when waking up, by/through writing to intensively question myself about what am I actually doing, not by delaying waking up. I commit myself to redefine myself within waking up as supporting my BODY, not my ego by/through breathing instead of thinking before I go to sleep, waking up to keep walking the process to demonstrate to myself, for myself, my own extent of commitment to myself to change. I commit myself to stop defining waking up as a hopeful event of all my problems magically solving themselves without me doing any work, to instead wake up because my body is rested, I must continue the process of equalizing myself to the Life that is already here as all the systems that are here, to break my own limitations.