I commit myself to when/as I see myself sleeping in out of the excuse of fearing myself as the THOUGHT of sabotaging myself for an entire day, because of a justification which I assume was triggered by someone/something else, to stop and breathe. I realise that within assuming that someone/something else triggered me to sabotage myself for an entire day, I am separating myself from myself as the cause of sabotaging myself, by blaming my own accepted and allowed self sabotage on others, so in this I realise that when I only focus on how someone/something else triggered a mechanism within me as a thought, I am also participating in a belief that that someone/something is also the cause for each and every moment of what words/behaviours I commit myself to, and in this I realise that I numbed/separated myself to/from my own participation in the moment because of some apparently hidden point that I have to gain from separating myself from my own immediate actions, to instead immerse myself in thoughts, memories, opinions, judgments, anything but doing what I need to do to realise that I am responsible if my entire day amounted to nothing. And in this I realise that if/when my day amounts to nothing, it is not a prompt to judge myself and add another layer of mind bullshit to distract myself from self responsibility, but to instead when at the end of a day, I realise that I accumulated less than what I can, to write the timeline of my day to identify where I did less than what I can, and investigate those moments to let go of my justifications and excuses through the tool of self forgiveness and self commitment statements as preparation for self correction in real time, where if I do not write statements I can already trust myself to live, I will be wasting my own time. So I realise that my fear of a mood swing “overpowering” my directive principle and, for example, messing up my entire day, is a statement where I am abdicating responsibility for myself if I participate in this statement as if it were real, like when I participate in a thought such as “I screwed up my day because of a mood swing”/”I can’t do X because of my mood”. I commit myself to realise that when I wake up, my idea of self sabotage is something I always create through participating in thoughts about self sabotage, and when I wake up to a negative mood, it is simply an indication that I participated and accumulated the compound effects of participating in such thoughts. I commit myself to stop postponing waking up, to in this commit myself to define the word “waking up” to support my human body instead of the make believe fear of “what if I sabotage myself”. So I commit myself to, when/as fear of self sabotage is triggered, to stop myself participating in the thoughts that fuel the fear in my Mind, to instead realise that if/when I find out that I sabotaged myself, I can take responsibility for myself, identify myself as the cause of my fall/mistake/self sabotage – stop fearing the word self sabotage, take responsibility for how I defined my relationship to the word self sabotage, when I sabotage myself what do I do, I take responsibility for what I do.
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