Day 262: Paranoia of Hearing Certain Phrases

Lately I have been facing a point of paranoia where, especially at night, I would hear people and be paranoid about hearing certain phrases and words. For the umpteenth time I got paranoid and then it struck me: I was paranoid because of the guilt I felt about being a dependent, dependent on my family for money.

So I have been hiding this guilt from myself for the feeling of not wanting to face myself.

Why have I been hiding? The point of self interest is in avoiding what I am going to do about it and hiding the beliefs I had about being a dependent. Before, I looked at the idea of dependents as outcasts which I did not want to be a part of, and when I had the skills to not be part of that group, I ignored this group of dependents. Now that I am one, I was hiding my guilt to avoid facing my own beliefs about what a dependent is.

What beliefs had I held about dependents? I believed they were bad people that did less than what was required of them deliberately out of spite.


About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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