“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in spite of the repeated evidence in my own living experience where love failed to sustain a relationship and prevent it from breaking up, I still place value in love as the bond and reason to engage in relationships without considering the practical factors like: communication, past life clearing, vocabulary alignment, psychological patterning clearing, honesty, intimacy, goal alignment, secret mind eradication, investigation of the allowances and acceptances of irrational fear and the necessity of skill training to prepare myself for effective agreements to hold the relationship together as a giving of myself in total commitment to successful living.”
Why “place value in love as the bond and reason to engage in relationships” when you can place value in all of the practical factors listed above? It’s interesting to note that I would “hold the relationship together as a giving of myself in total commitment to successful living”. Because giving myself in total commitment to successful living is usually interpreted as a personal venture, whereas Bernard states that I may create relationships as a giving of myself.
Psychological patterning clearing, intimacy, secret mind eradication, investigation of the allowances and acceptances of irrational fear, all fall in the category of self forgiveness and that is what self forgiveness can do for you if you will it.
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept breakups to be the natural condition of human relationships instead of acquiring relationship agreement skills to manage the relationships as equals and to support the integrity of the commitment to each other as the expression of self respect and respect of each other as living beings to prevent the fear of being hurt and the fear of vulnerability that is the key to complete trust and intimacy.”
So I commit myself to investigate what I am able to do to have relationship agreement skills to prevent the fear of being hurt and the fear of vulnerability.
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept love as an untouchable feeling that will somehow obliterate the physical evidence that love do not conquer all, and that I allowed myself to become irrationally possessed with love to such a degree that I became blind to the physical signs that predictably show the signs of breakup and failure already in many cases BEFORE the relationship turned into a committed agreement.”
Bernard notes the fallacy of treating love the feeling as untouchable, when what is really untouchable, in that it cannot be erased, is the physical evidence that love do not conquer all. He also enlightens us that there are physical signs that predictably show the signs of breakup, that we would also see if we were not so obsessed with love the feeling. The previous journey outlines a few of the predictable signs of breakup.
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept love to be holy when it clearly shows love is used as manipulation with or without intent to get feelings fulfilled and to counter the fears of loneliness while these fears only go to the greater fear of breakup later that compromise all rational relationship stability considerations.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that thought plays the major creative role in the creation of love through energizing and justifying feelings through a process of listing acceptable and unacceptable points that I can live with, instead of standing on the principle that will create a certain successful relationship agreement through following the common sense of openness, self-honesty, integrity, and communication. All the points I know is critical for a stable commitment, yet I compromise through justification because I fear I may not get into the relationship unless I compromise. Yet, the reality of the breakup is born out of the compromise before the relationship starts.
So Bernard is asking us why we would create love, instead of “standing on the principle that will create a certain successful relationship agreement”.
“yet I compromise” Yes, I am one person that felt that I had to compromise through justification. I thought that relationships were matters of emotion so I could be rejected solely based on the feeling I give to someone. Bernard is telling me what is critical for a stable commitment, so that I no longer have to fear. The ‘have to’ comes from my thoughts about relationships, in which I totally forget about openness, self-honesty, integrity, and communication.
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the use of love in movies and advertising to influence me as to how I project that love should be while I deny that the picture perfect presentation is not based in the reality of daily living – yet, I allow myself to compromise my integrity and that of my partner and foolishly follow the road of breakup using justification and compromise to make my decision sound right in the thoughts I entertain as I create the illusion of my choice by colouring it in with all the reasons why, while denying all the reasons why not.”
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place all my trust in Love instead of the common sense of living in ways that is practically best for all life and thus best to be the foundation of all relationships in all ways.”