I don’t see any reason why I would resist putting in more time and effort on the tasks that I set out to do. So the solution is simple: just do it.
Except for one point: cello practice.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistkae when practicing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming less because of making a mistake.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being reprimanded because of making a mistake, out of the excuse that I have witnessed some of the consequences if one makes a mistake at a crucial time.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I practice so that I do not make a mistake at a critical time.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself hesitating/resisting to practice more cello – I stop, I breathe. I realize that I need not fear anything when I’m practicing – I’m alone in my room practicing with nothing needing me to perform or anything like that, but I have a responsibility to myself to make the most of the time I invest in practice, so I might as well suck it up and practice that which gives me difficulty. I Commit myself to practice the difficult points first. I commit myself to find the enjoyment within difficult times as the moments when I struggle during practice, wherein I mentally let go of the thoughts that stress me out, and embrace the physical difficulty of the exercise at hand, knowing that I have repetition by my side to support me.
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that all images, and within this sound is an image, are copied and stored in the physical body – with peripheral vision being the primary copy method through which the inner-conversation of the individual, which will lead to the decision the individual will make, is controlled through the directly observed media – but through the background peripheral images which suggest to the viewer and consumer that the desired image of the individual is only possible through acquiring the goods as images in picture or real format that is in the background of the projected image – intended to influence and control all decisions of the individual – meaning that no decision or desire the individual makes or has is ever their own, and that concepts like equality and that which is best for all Life is always demonized through the projected images as that would stop such influences and control and is therefore the enemy of individual desire which includes the corporation and government as individual.” – Day 47: The Evil Individual, http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-47-evil-individual.html
In this quote, what worries me is to what extent my decision making has been determined by the background peripheral images. I am wary of using clothing to bolster my self image, though more lax when it comes to accessories – guitars come to mind. When I ask myself whether I should get a new guitar, I keep telling myself that it’s a stupid purchase because the guitar I’m thinking of will depreciate in value and it’s another hunk of wood to store.
But can you see how equality and that which is best for all Life is demonized through “the projected images”/media? What repeats in media endlessly is the design of what I call the leisure class, the upper less-working class that actually has time for leisure. Then the working class is bound to look at these pretty images and maybe think, “gee, I wish I had that level of prosperity.” Maybe it will be misinterpreted that the quality of life of the leisure class can be bought starting with the product advertised.
In equality, the most weak are also seen as equal; in emphasizing the best in the human experience in media in context of the growing inequality distributed through money, it’s like demonizing the real experiences that the working class face and the lower class’s struggles around money. You can’t speak/advertise about the virtues of the working class. Surely what is best for all life is to uplift everyone – so in modern terms, especially the lower and working class – to a quality of life that is equal to a dignified life, which includes having the privilege of using a car that is not designed to break in a year’s time.