Day 369: Being Uncertain of What the Future Holds

Here’s one way to write: ask a worthwhile self investigative question and answer self honestly.  Then forgive yourself for the reasons why you see these points as valid when you KNOW it’s not the best for you or for others or for the world.  Unravel each mystery conclusion/point through self forgiveness.  Self commitments to follow in the next post.

What worries me about my future?

– not having enough money to live off of

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare myself with an imagination of having no money, out of the excuse that the vast majority in this world has no access to money, which places me according to chance to most likely also have no money.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that instead of imagining the worst while in a place of having money, I should be finding solutions along the lines of how I will make use of this money to bring about a world that is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I am forced into playing casino and rolling the dice every time I make a decision, where all of my decisions are made possible by money, and all of my decisions affect how much money I make.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the decisions I make and live out are not by chance, I accepted and allowed myself to make and live that decision, such as the decision to become a cello teacher to earn money.

– not having a way to earn a sufficient amount of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my decision of being a cello teacher, out of the excuse of the uncertainty that the future always has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself through using worst case scenarios to scare me, instead of to prepare me for the worst.

I forgive myself that I Have not accepted and allowed myself to notice that when I accept the worst case scenario as possible, to re-focus back on what is here – the task at hand – I breathe a sigh of relief because I let go of what ends up being my imagination.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the steadiness of my decision to be a cello teacher is dependent on the repetition of applying myself to do what needs to be done to excel at playing the cello.

Therefore I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I reduce the uncertainty exponentially by working hard at practicing the skill which I plan on using to earn money; so uncertainty becomes less each moment I apply myself to play the cello and practice properly.

– not having the image to be a respected citizen of the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having the symbols of status to not be questioned by the system as other people and the system as corporations – which act like individuals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define an image of a ‘respected citizen’ according to:
– having a skill to exchange for money
– having the self deceit to employ mannerisms and wear clothing to trigger sexual energy in others, as the accepted way to ‘express my sexuality’
– having a secret stash of money to rely on; having savings from the money I earn
– working in a large corporation so that their brand may brush off on my brand, so that my company’s brand may instill trust for others to trust my brand.
– having a certain level of intelligence that is recognized by the system in the form of certificates
– being called smart, handsome, intelligent, patient, anything positive by the circle of friends I accept and allow to influence me

Summary: having money, sex, and relationships in order, in that order. Note that a consideration of what is best for life is ignored for money, sex, and relationships.

– being scrutinized by others for my laziness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being singled out for being lazy, either a person singling me out or fate/circumstances singling me out for being lazy (i.e. being enrolled in a lower class university than another because I was lazy in studying for my exams)

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to realize that I am the only one to blame if I did not get what I aimed for mainly because I was lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy as a way to blow off stress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the scenario of being interviewed and questioned as to what I did with my time that was not occupied by ‘normal’ activities like university studies and courses recognized by society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to answer a corporation as to what I did with my time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste my time and abuse myself through abusing my time when I was in school and had an excuse to slack off while still being recognized as apparently working hard at school.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that every day I wake up is a kind of second chance to correct myself as who I am, though the past is permanent.

About Kasper Kwan

Currently supporting myself in the process of establishing my words in the physical principles of Oneness and Equality. Had to start this process because I have allowed and accepted my words to be established in the mental idea of self-interest/greed, and only realised this recently.
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2 Responses to Day 369: Being Uncertain of What the Future Holds

  1. anthony says:

    a conversation with someone self honest who has experienced no money and no future prospects for obtaining any in any near present (if such a thing could exist!) might assist. Though… . yeah. I’d say you don’t REALLY need to know from any perspective’s except the one’s that suggests it is valid..

    I saw Sunnette yesterday wonderfully verbally expressing her Self Forgiveness experiences from the start. Have you got a Vlog that expresses your consideration on such like? Your words in the pre-amble here suggests observing such a thing would be equally beneficial, if not only too me. Please.

    Thank you.

    anthony

  2. Pingback: Day 370: To Be or Not To Be… Lax | Kasper's Journey To Life

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