So what to do with myself? First I need to snap out of the relationship of doubt I have personally. I can see that the doubt manifests itself as imagining the worst case scenario with the people around me. Then it’s to do what needs to be done. Then it’s to give as I would like to receive.
So doing what needs to be done in this example would be to take on the responsibilities of that job, while not being overbearing or conquering in my approach. Giving would mean giving people benefit of the doubt, not delving into matters that are simply out of my control – i.e. imagining the worst with people – keeping myself running on old tracks/habits/patterns, sticking to what I can physically confirm with my physical senses, and disregarding the rest that is obviously my imagination.
I suppose one ofthe myths that I fueled in myself is the myth of a ‘sixth sense’ especially in human affairs. The dream of having an ‘intuition’ that can predict and harness human relations to the betterment of myself only. The result is I grow paranoid trying to guess what may or may not have happened, and paint a rather bleak picture of the human relationship in me. That people only follow their self interest, that they cannot and will not consider others, as depicted in The Century Of The Self documentary. The part about the Cold War and how that affected human perception.
The solution is simple. Stop guessing.